Recently it was suggested that I might want to use a cane. A cane is touted as helping one from falling down, or so I’m told. Now I, and I assume most people, knew little about canes. So, I did what I often do when I know little about something, I started by going to the dictionary.
I discovered if one doesn’t know much about canes, the dictionary is not the place one should go to change that. It told me a cane was: “a slender stick, esp. one used as a support for plants, as a walking stick, or as an instrument of punishment.”
I suppose I knew that but it seemed strange to me that a canes' uncanny ability to disappear wasn’t mentioned. Mine must disappear half a dozen times a day and I have no idea what message it’s trying to send. Probably it would fall under that “instrument of punishment” heading.
However, I do try to keep a positive attitude towards the damned thing and attempt to make it think I am its friend. I even did some further research on canes and found they go back to prehistoric days. Originally it was a stick that some caveman picked up to take the weight off of an injured foot. But, according to the writing on cave walls, it wasn’t long before some of the wealthier cavemen began making canes fancier than just a plain stick. Eventually this trend ended up with those who could afford it, using dinosaur bones as canes. In many cases this made the user look ridiculous because most dinosaur bones were much too long and the saw hadn’t been invented yet.
Many people know that Fred Astair and Gene Kelly made movies where they used canes while dancing. However, most don’t know this! There is a cave wall in Indonesia that clearly depicts a caveman tap dancing with a stick. Of course, he wasn’t singing, “Dancing in the Rain.” That would be silly.
As time progressed the cane became a symbol of prestige and even the Bible mentioned that Eve, a notoriously bad speller, named her eldest son in honor of Adam’s walking stick. She called him Cain.
As yet I have no sense that my cane ever saved me from falling down but I have noticed several other benefits that were never mentioned to me.
The primary one right now seems to be whenever I am approaching a building and need to open the door, there always seems to be someone who wants to hold it open for me. That’s always nice.
And there is also the checkout girl at the store who, noticing my cane, says, “Would you like me to carry those things to your car?” Even though I am quite capable of doing that I always accept. I think it’s a polite thing for me to do.
The cane, no doubt, could be a weapon of self defense. If I am ever happen to be set upon by people intending to do me harm I’m sure just displaying my cane would cause them to have second thoughts. As I recall, Sherlock Holmes did that more than one time. Though, as I recall, he didn’t threaten them. He just beat the stuffing out of them. When this does happen to me I think I will just wave my cane and shout something like, “Sherlock Holmes.” I would hope my attackers were literate enough to have read those stories.
I plan on doing more research on the wonders of the lowly cane, but for now, I just give it the respect it has earned and hope when you see one, you’ll respect it too.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 11, 2011
4/11/2011
4/05/2011
I AM SURPRISED
I knew it would happened eventually. They say it always does. As soon as a person has an 88th birthday, which I did a week or so ago, everything starts to go downhill. It's normal, they say, for a person to forget things. It's also predictable that a person starts to do something and forgets what is was.
I had a point here but I seem to have lost it.
Oh, I know.
Oh, no I don't. Well, I did but I forgot.
Oh, I've got it this time. A major and obvious, manifestation of old age is when a person posts the same blog twice. It's really bad if they are consecutive posts as I did in my two previous blogs.
I think I started out to apologize but I'm not sure.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 5, 2011
I had a point here but I seem to have lost it.
Oh, I know.
Oh, no I don't. Well, I did but I forgot.
Oh, I've got it this time. A major and obvious, manifestation of old age is when a person posts the same blog twice. It's really bad if they are consecutive posts as I did in my two previous blogs.
I think I started out to apologize but I'm not sure.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 5, 2011
3/27/2011
ALL IN THE GENES
I saw an article in the newspaper that attracted my attention. The headline was, “Scientists Close To Cracking Key To Longevity.” Since I always thought longevity would be a nice thing to have, I read on.
It seems there are scientists who spend their time studying centenarians, which as you probably knew, are people over 100 years old. I was very interested as that number is on my horizon and since I just passed birthday #88 I will be there fairly soon. So I read on.
Apparently these scientists are examining the DNA of really old people and what they are finding surprised me. At least some of them agree that the primary reason some people get to be that old is simply a matter of genes. They say that the research shows those with the proper genes more or less automatically bypass diabetes, Alzheimer's Disease and many of the other things that tend to appear as one ages.
I suppose it was reading this that caused me to have trouble sleeping that night. It probably was a dream but I thought I had a conversation with my parents.
They started by apologizing. My mother said, “We wanted to congratulate you on getting to be 100 years old but also, we want you to know we are sorry we gave you so much trouble about eating sugar, and fats and carbohydrates. We only wanted you to live a long life and it turns out that didn’t have much to do with it. It was all the genes we passed on.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
"You mean all that cod liver oil didn't do anything?"
"Apparently not. Just genes."
I asked, “What about smoking and drinking? Remember, I quit those in order to live longer.”
“We’re sorry but evidently there was no need to; it’s only the genes.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
“And what about that girl on the next street you wouldn’t let me have anything to do with because she had “questionable morals?”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. Just genes. We really are sorry but we didn’t know.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
I sighed and admitted it probably wouldn’t have made much difference but it might have made the 100 years go by a little faster. I told them, “Doing it your way sure took a long time.”
In unison, my parents said, “But we didn’t know.“ and disappeared.
I woke up and thought about it. At least by giving up smoking and drinking I did save me lots of money. But if that’s actually true, I wonder where the money is.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 27, 2010
It seems there are scientists who spend their time studying centenarians, which as you probably knew, are people over 100 years old. I was very interested as that number is on my horizon and since I just passed birthday #88 I will be there fairly soon. So I read on.
Apparently these scientists are examining the DNA of really old people and what they are finding surprised me. At least some of them agree that the primary reason some people get to be that old is simply a matter of genes. They say that the research shows those with the proper genes more or less automatically bypass diabetes, Alzheimer's Disease and many of the other things that tend to appear as one ages.
I suppose it was reading this that caused me to have trouble sleeping that night. It probably was a dream but I thought I had a conversation with my parents.
They started by apologizing. My mother said, “We wanted to congratulate you on getting to be 100 years old but also, we want you to know we are sorry we gave you so much trouble about eating sugar, and fats and carbohydrates. We only wanted you to live a long life and it turns out that didn’t have much to do with it. It was all the genes we passed on.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
"You mean all that cod liver oil didn't do anything?"
"Apparently not. Just genes."
I asked, “What about smoking and drinking? Remember, I quit those in order to live longer.”
“We’re sorry but evidently there was no need to; it’s only the genes.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
“And what about that girl on the next street you wouldn’t let me have anything to do with because she had “questionable morals?”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. Just genes. We really are sorry but we didn’t know.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
I sighed and admitted it probably wouldn’t have made much difference but it might have made the 100 years go by a little faster. I told them, “Doing it your way sure took a long time.”
In unison, my parents said, “But we didn’t know.“ and disappeared.
I woke up and thought about it. At least by giving up smoking and drinking I did save me lots of money. But if that’s actually true, I wonder where the money is.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 27, 2010
3/13/2011
IT'S IN THE GENES
I saw an article in the newspaper that attracted my attention. The headline read, “Scientists Close To Cracking Key To Longevity.” Since I am close to longevity myself, I read on.
It seems there are scientists who spend their time studying centenarians, which as you know, are people over 100 years old. I was interested as that number is on my horizon and I plan on being there fairly soon. So I read on.
Apparently these scientists are examining the DNA of really old people and what they are finding surprised me. At least some of them agree that the primary reason some people get to be that old is simply a matter of genes. They say those with the proper genes kind of automatically bypass diabetes, Alzheimer's Disease and many of the other things that tend to appear as one ages.
I suppose it was reading this that caused me to have trouble sleeping that night. In fact, it probably was a dream but I thought I had a conversation with my parents.
They started by apologizing. My mother said, “We wanted to congratulate you on getting to be 100 years old but also, we want you to know we are sorry we gave you so much trouble about eating sugar, and fats and carbohydrates. We only wanted you to live a long life and it turns out that didn’t have much to do with it. It was all the genes we passed on.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
"You mean that cod liver oil didn't do anything?"
"Apparently not. Just genes."
I asked, “What about smoking and drinking? Remember, I quit those in order to live longer.”
“We’re sorry but apparently it’s genes.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
“And what about that girl on the next street you wouldn’t let me have anything to do with because she had “questionable morals?”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. Just genes. We really are sorry but we didn’t know.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
I sighed and admitted it probably wouldn’t have made much difference but it might have made the 100 years go by faster. I told them, “Doing it your way sure took a long time.”
In unison, my parents said, “But we didn’t know.“ and disappeared.
I woke up and thought about it. I suppose when I gave up smoking and drinking I probably did save a lot of money. But if that was the case, I wondered where it was.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 17, 2011
It seems there are scientists who spend their time studying centenarians, which as you know, are people over 100 years old. I was interested as that number is on my horizon and I plan on being there fairly soon. So I read on.
Apparently these scientists are examining the DNA of really old people and what they are finding surprised me. At least some of them agree that the primary reason some people get to be that old is simply a matter of genes. They say those with the proper genes kind of automatically bypass diabetes, Alzheimer's Disease and many of the other things that tend to appear as one ages.
I suppose it was reading this that caused me to have trouble sleeping that night. In fact, it probably was a dream but I thought I had a conversation with my parents.
They started by apologizing. My mother said, “We wanted to congratulate you on getting to be 100 years old but also, we want you to know we are sorry we gave you so much trouble about eating sugar, and fats and carbohydrates. We only wanted you to live a long life and it turns out that didn’t have much to do with it. It was all the genes we passed on.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
"You mean that cod liver oil didn't do anything?"
"Apparently not. Just genes."
I asked, “What about smoking and drinking? Remember, I quit those in order to live longer.”
“We’re sorry but apparently it’s genes.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
“And what about that girl on the next street you wouldn’t let me have anything to do with because she had “questionable morals?”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. Just genes. We really are sorry but we didn’t know.”
My father nodded and said, “Yes.”
I sighed and admitted it probably wouldn’t have made much difference but it might have made the 100 years go by faster. I told them, “Doing it your way sure took a long time.”
In unison, my parents said, “But we didn’t know.“ and disappeared.
I woke up and thought about it. I suppose when I gave up smoking and drinking I probably did save a lot of money. But if that was the case, I wondered where it was.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 17, 2011
2/16/2011
COINCIDENCES
My father spent most of his adult life working as a detective with our local police department. I believe some of the techniques he used at work often overflowed into his family life. I recall him once saying, “I don’t believe in coincidences.” I thought of this when I read something in the news recently.
“Polling shows that a majority of likely Republican presidential primary voters are "birthers"-- they believe that President Obama was born in another country.”
Unless things have changed since I studied Statistics, “Majority” means more than fifty percent. This relates to the Bell Curve which I also learned about in my Statistics class. It also comes into play with the term “average.” For example, when considering the intelligence of any particular group, it will be, by definition, that more than fifty percent of them will be below average intelligence.
I only pose the question: Is it a coincidence that the same percentage who are below average intelligence believe that President Obama was born in another country?
As my Dad used to say, “I don’t believe in coincidences.”
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
February 16, 2011
“Polling shows that a majority of likely Republican presidential primary voters are "birthers"-- they believe that President Obama was born in another country.”
Unless things have changed since I studied Statistics, “Majority” means more than fifty percent. This relates to the Bell Curve which I also learned about in my Statistics class. It also comes into play with the term “average.” For example, when considering the intelligence of any particular group, it will be, by definition, that more than fifty percent of them will be below average intelligence.
I only pose the question: Is it a coincidence that the same percentage who are below average intelligence believe that President Obama was born in another country?
As my Dad used to say, “I don’t believe in coincidences.”
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
February 16, 2011
2/11/2011
THE OLD PROFESSOR RETURNS
It has been a tad more than 2 months since The Old Professor has posted a blog. There really was no good reason for the gap except perhaps a lack of inspiration. In other words, I didn’t feel I had anything worthwhile to say.
However, several of you have taken the time to write to me letting me know that having nothing to say never slowed me down in the past and there’s no reason it should now.
However, this time I did find something worth writing about so here I am about to cry out against a huge injustice which has been brought to my attention.
An interesting iPhone application has recently appeared as explained here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/09/confession-iphone-app_n_820840.html
If you check there you will find a report on an application aimed at Catholics preparing for confession. Assistance is given on identifying sins and proper penance for each.
It’s rather interesting in a cute sort of way. However, I wrote a thing I called “Letter to the Pope” in 1985. I suggested the Catholic Church adopt a software program I had created called MicroPOPE. (Papal Optimal Penance Evaluator) and it has been on my web page for many, many years. Luckily I dated it when I wrote it but sadly I did not copyright it.
If you would like to see my 1985 original letter it’s at:
http://www.oldprof.com/Pope.htm
Now the new one is listed as selling for $1.99. If I had carried on with my MicoPOPE program and sold 100,000 of them at $1.99 I would have …
Well, you do the math.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
February 11, 2011
However, several of you have taken the time to write to me letting me know that having nothing to say never slowed me down in the past and there’s no reason it should now.
However, this time I did find something worth writing about so here I am about to cry out against a huge injustice which has been brought to my attention.
An interesting iPhone application has recently appeared as explained here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/09/confession-iphone-app_n_820840.html
If you check there you will find a report on an application aimed at Catholics preparing for confession. Assistance is given on identifying sins and proper penance for each.
It’s rather interesting in a cute sort of way. However, I wrote a thing I called “Letter to the Pope” in 1985. I suggested the Catholic Church adopt a software program I had created called MicroPOPE. (Papal Optimal Penance Evaluator) and it has been on my web page for many, many years. Luckily I dated it when I wrote it but sadly I did not copyright it.
If you would like to see my 1985 original letter it’s at:
http://www.oldprof.com/Pope.htm
Now the new one is listed as selling for $1.99. If I had carried on with my MicoPOPE program and sold 100,000 of them at $1.99 I would have …
Well, you do the math.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
February 11, 2011
12/11/2010
I DON'T GET IT
I often read things in the newspaper that don’t seem to make much sense to me. This morning I saw where, in California, there was a plastic surgeon who had been arrested and charged with molestation. It seems some of his female patients accused him of “inappropriate touching.”
I don’t get it. If he wanted to touch some part of a female couldn’t he just make one and take it home to touch it whenever he pleased?
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 11, 2010
I don’t get it. If he wanted to touch some part of a female couldn’t he just make one and take it home to touch it whenever he pleased?
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 11, 2010
12/06/2010
DON'T ASK; DON'T TELL??
These days in the United States there is much debate going on about a military policy called “Don’t ask; Don’t tell.” This policy dates back to 1993 and was intended to prevent barring homosexuals from military service as long as nobody knew about it. Now there is a movement to repeal this policy and allow homosexuals to serve just as anyone else would.
Of course, this brings all the nut cases out of the woodwork and we listen to constant discussions about the advisability of letting “these people”, who, in the eyes of some, are obviously immoral degenerates, come in contact with our troops. Apparently these people seem to think homosexuality is contagious.
Most of the time I just keep quite an don’t voice an opinion but it has gone so far that I feel I must speak up and you, of course, may disagree with my slant on this.
I can’t even imagine the unmitigated gall of someone who would ask a person to defend his or her country, even die for it, but only if his or her sex life was agreeable to that person.
That person might ask me if having a straight person live and work with a gay person doesn’t frighten me.
My reply would be, “No it doesn’t. People like you frighten me.”
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 6, 2010
Of course, this brings all the nut cases out of the woodwork and we listen to constant discussions about the advisability of letting “these people”, who, in the eyes of some, are obviously immoral degenerates, come in contact with our troops. Apparently these people seem to think homosexuality is contagious.
Most of the time I just keep quite an don’t voice an opinion but it has gone so far that I feel I must speak up and you, of course, may disagree with my slant on this.
I can’t even imagine the unmitigated gall of someone who would ask a person to defend his or her country, even die for it, but only if his or her sex life was agreeable to that person.
That person might ask me if having a straight person live and work with a gay person doesn’t frighten me.
My reply would be, “No it doesn’t. People like you frighten me.”
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 6, 2010
12/03/2010
I GET A NEW DEGREE
I finally have attained something I have always wanted. I am now a “University Graduate”, just like George Bush and other famous university graduates. And it all happened without much effort on my part. Well, actually no effort on my part.
This came about because the undergraduate degree I received back in 1948 was from a very small school in northern Massachusetts called “Fitchburg State Teachers College.” Also, that same year I earned a Master’s Degree in Education from the same school.
As time went by I read that the school had grown and it became known as Massachusetts State College at Fitchburg. Then a few days ago I received an invitation to attend the ceremonies where the school would now officially be the University of Massachusetts at Fitchburg.
So, without even lifting a finger I can now face the world as a “University Graduate” and get all the respect that carries with it. Having a “University degree” is something I’ve always wanted and I will enjoy basking in that for some time.
But first I’m being told I need to put the trash out. Perhaps my new degree doesn’t carry as much prestige as I thought it did. At least not everywhere.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December, 3, 2010
This came about because the undergraduate degree I received back in 1948 was from a very small school in northern Massachusetts called “Fitchburg State Teachers College.” Also, that same year I earned a Master’s Degree in Education from the same school.
As time went by I read that the school had grown and it became known as Massachusetts State College at Fitchburg. Then a few days ago I received an invitation to attend the ceremonies where the school would now officially be the University of Massachusetts at Fitchburg.
So, without even lifting a finger I can now face the world as a “University Graduate” and get all the respect that carries with it. Having a “University degree” is something I’ve always wanted and I will enjoy basking in that for some time.
But first I’m being told I need to put the trash out. Perhaps my new degree doesn’t carry as much prestige as I thought it did. At least not everywhere.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December, 3, 2010
11/13/2010
A VERY SHORT STORY
There is a rather famous short story attributed to Ernest Hemingway where it’s said he wrote a short story that consisted of only six words. He wrote, “For sale, baby shoes, never used.”
I wasn’t able to write a decent one that was as brief but I did come up with a very short story I call, “How Did You Like It?”
In 1968 the United State State Department sent me to Malawi, Africa to help set up a Technical School. I was there for 2 years, 1 day, 4 hours and 7 minutes.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
November 13, 2010
I wasn’t able to write a decent one that was as brief but I did come up with a very short story I call, “How Did You Like It?”
In 1968 the United State State Department sent me to Malawi, Africa to help set up a Technical School. I was there for 2 years, 1 day, 4 hours and 7 minutes.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
November 13, 2010
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