As one might suspect, writing is one of the things I enjoy doing. Always striving to do it as well as possible, I often seek advice online. I even subscribe to a couple of newsletters that regularly send me hints. One of those arrived the other day and it had, “55 Synonyms For Courage.” I was surprised to see Number 6:
6. Boldness: This word means “daring, fearless” but can also mean “adventurous” as well as “presumptuous.”
Until now I had never seen any real advantage to my hair loss but now I see -- Oh no. They said, “boldness.”
I probably would get more benefit from instructions on how to read more carefully.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 3, 2011
12/03/2011
11/27/2011
I'M BACK
I suppose apologies are in order in case there is someone out there who has been checking my blog site only to find nothing new. It’s just that there’s been almost nothing new in my life -- until now.
Alert: For me to tell of my latest adventure you must at least be able to hear the term "constipation" without fainting.
I had been having some trouble with that so had been hitting the fiber pretty good. This was fine but the other day I needed to go to a medical lab for a routine blood check and I was concerned that I might need to make an emergency run to a rest room. Since I wear a pullover sweater, and suspenders under that, I felt it might delay the process in case I needed to use the facility in a hurry. So, I got rid of the suspenders and put on a belt just in case I might need a quick change. You see, that way pants could be lowered without the necessity of removing the sweater.
I arrived at the lab and went though the check-in spot and then sat down to await my turn. Soon someone called my name There were about a dozen people in the waiting room and apparently I was the only one with that name so, holding my papers in one hand and my cane in the other, I stood up and walked towards the lady.
She said, “Follow me.” And started to walk away.
I said, "Wait. I'm in trouble. My pants are falling down.”
So there I was, holding the papers and the cane in one hand and with the other hand I was trying to pull up my pants which were, by then, around my knees. I don't know if you have ever tried to pull up pants with one hand but it’s not the most efficient way of doing it. Also, my equilibrium isn’t all that great so I was also trying to lean on a nearby counter at the same time.
I finally said, “Will you please help me pull my pants up?” For a moment she looked puzzled as though she had never seen a guy standing in the waiting room with his pants around his knees.
Finally she did help me by crouching down and pulling my pants up using both hands.
The rest of the visit was uneventful. However, as I told the lady who helped me, “You now have a story to tell your grandchildren.”
With the widespread availability of cell phone cameras I fully expected to see my rear end on the 6 o’clock news but I didn't so I guess I missed my fifteen minutes of fame.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
November 26, 2011
Alert: For me to tell of my latest adventure you must at least be able to hear the term "constipation" without fainting.
I had been having some trouble with that so had been hitting the fiber pretty good. This was fine but the other day I needed to go to a medical lab for a routine blood check and I was concerned that I might need to make an emergency run to a rest room. Since I wear a pullover sweater, and suspenders under that, I felt it might delay the process in case I needed to use the facility in a hurry. So, I got rid of the suspenders and put on a belt just in case I might need a quick change. You see, that way pants could be lowered without the necessity of removing the sweater.
I arrived at the lab and went though the check-in spot and then sat down to await my turn. Soon someone called my name There were about a dozen people in the waiting room and apparently I was the only one with that name so, holding my papers in one hand and my cane in the other, I stood up and walked towards the lady.
She said, “Follow me.” And started to walk away.
I said, "Wait. I'm in trouble. My pants are falling down.”
So there I was, holding the papers and the cane in one hand and with the other hand I was trying to pull up my pants which were, by then, around my knees. I don't know if you have ever tried to pull up pants with one hand but it’s not the most efficient way of doing it. Also, my equilibrium isn’t all that great so I was also trying to lean on a nearby counter at the same time.
I finally said, “Will you please help me pull my pants up?” For a moment she looked puzzled as though she had never seen a guy standing in the waiting room with his pants around his knees.
Finally she did help me by crouching down and pulling my pants up using both hands.
The rest of the visit was uneventful. However, as I told the lady who helped me, “You now have a story to tell your grandchildren.”
With the widespread availability of cell phone cameras I fully expected to see my rear end on the 6 o’clock news but I didn't so I guess I missed my fifteen minutes of fame.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
November 26, 2011
8/19/2011
STRANGE HAPPENINGS
There is something strange going on here and I don’t understand it. Where I live, in Carmel, California, there is an annual Antique Car Show. People come from many miles away and show their antique cars to other antique car owners. This has been going on every year for 61 years and during this particular week we often see these old cars driving around the area as well as the fancy moving vans used to transport these cars.
The thing that mystifies me is what they classify as an "antique car." In former years I used to see old cars displayed that I had only read about. But it seems to be different now.
Yesterday I saw a car that everyone was admiring and it was the same model my father had when I was growing up. How could a 1934 Essex be an antique? We used to drive that to go on picnics. Well, actually, my father drove it.
But the first car I owned was a 1938 Buick and, granted, it wasn’t in the shape the one on display is, but it certainly wasn’t an antique. And for sure it wasn’t worth $150,000. In fact, $50 would be closer to what I paid for it.
There is something very strange going on these days as far as what people consider “old” and I’m going to make an attempt find out what it is. Maybe it’s that “Time Warp” thing I’ve read about in science fiction stories. Probably something like that.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
August 19, 2011
The thing that mystifies me is what they classify as an "antique car." In former years I used to see old cars displayed that I had only read about. But it seems to be different now.
Yesterday I saw a car that everyone was admiring and it was the same model my father had when I was growing up. How could a 1934 Essex be an antique? We used to drive that to go on picnics. Well, actually, my father drove it.
But the first car I owned was a 1938 Buick and, granted, it wasn’t in the shape the one on display is, but it certainly wasn’t an antique. And for sure it wasn’t worth $150,000. In fact, $50 would be closer to what I paid for it.
There is something very strange going on these days as far as what people consider “old” and I’m going to make an attempt find out what it is. Maybe it’s that “Time Warp” thing I’ve read about in science fiction stories. Probably something like that.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
August 19, 2011
8/11/2011
IT'S NOT ALWAYS ENGLAND
I have a friend who lives in England. Whenever I mention some particular achievement that some American did he always says, “Oh, we did that in England many years ago.”
I don’t mean things like landing on the moon but rather, everyday, man-on-the-street things. For example, I might mention a recently written song I enjoyed by an American composer. He would say, “Oh, The Beatles did that years ago.”
I’m inclined to think he is exaggerating most of the time but until now I never really had a proper comeback so I just accepted his overbearing attitude thinking that someday I would be able to find something Americans did first.
The day has arrived.
I see in the news that gangs of young thugs were roaming the streets of London and Manchester destroying property for no apparent reason except they think that’s what gangs of young thugs are supposed to do.
Well, my English Friend, I have news for you. We did that with the Watts Riots back in 1965! Gangs of young thugs roamed the streets destroying property for no apparent reason except they thought that’s what gangs of young thugs were supposed to do.
Sure, it happened in London but we did it first!
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
August 11, 2011
PS Thank you, Caroline x.
I don’t mean things like landing on the moon but rather, everyday, man-on-the-street things. For example, I might mention a recently written song I enjoyed by an American composer. He would say, “Oh, The Beatles did that years ago.”
I’m inclined to think he is exaggerating most of the time but until now I never really had a proper comeback so I just accepted his overbearing attitude thinking that someday I would be able to find something Americans did first.
The day has arrived.
I see in the news that gangs of young thugs were roaming the streets of London and Manchester destroying property for no apparent reason except they think that’s what gangs of young thugs are supposed to do.
Well, my English Friend, I have news for you. We did that with the Watts Riots back in 1965! Gangs of young thugs roamed the streets destroying property for no apparent reason except they thought that’s what gangs of young thugs were supposed to do.
Sure, it happened in London but we did it first!
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
August 11, 2011
PS Thank you, Caroline x.
7/26/2011
SAVE TIBET
This morning I stopped at a traffic light and while waiting for the light to change I noticed the car ahead of me displayed a small sign in the rear window. The only words were, “SAVE TIBET.”
“Okay.”
I wondered how I would do that since I only have a vague notion of where Tibet is and certainly have never been there and I doubt if there are many readers of this blog who are or ever were, Tibetans.
None the less, the vehicle ahead of me was ordering me to, “SAVE TIBET.” Well, to be truthful, I’m not 100% sure it was actually aimed at me. There was another car adjacent to me and perhaps the message was meant for him, though I checked him out and he looked more like a high school student than a Tibetan Activist. However, I suppose there’s no reason why an activist couldn’t dress that way. It might even be a disguise.
But then, I’m not really sure what a Tibetan Activist is supposed to look like. I assume they don’t care about hiding their identity or the car owner certainly wouldn’t have placed a sign in the rear window for all to see. That little sign practically bellowed that the occupant of this car was a Tibet Activist of some kind.
Arriving home I was still puzzled as to what I was supposed to do. I did an internet search for “Save Tibet” but that didn’t really tell me much so I figured I would do something that is very rare for me -- I would use common sense. I went to my word processor and wrote this little thing. Next I clicked on where it indicates, “Save.” A little box appeared asking me to name whatever it was I wanted to Save. I typed “Tibet.”
Tah dah!
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 26, 2011
“Okay.”
I wondered how I would do that since I only have a vague notion of where Tibet is and certainly have never been there and I doubt if there are many readers of this blog who are or ever were, Tibetans.
None the less, the vehicle ahead of me was ordering me to, “SAVE TIBET.” Well, to be truthful, I’m not 100% sure it was actually aimed at me. There was another car adjacent to me and perhaps the message was meant for him, though I checked him out and he looked more like a high school student than a Tibetan Activist. However, I suppose there’s no reason why an activist couldn’t dress that way. It might even be a disguise.
But then, I’m not really sure what a Tibetan Activist is supposed to look like. I assume they don’t care about hiding their identity or the car owner certainly wouldn’t have placed a sign in the rear window for all to see. That little sign practically bellowed that the occupant of this car was a Tibet Activist of some kind.
Arriving home I was still puzzled as to what I was supposed to do. I did an internet search for “Save Tibet” but that didn’t really tell me much so I figured I would do something that is very rare for me -- I would use common sense. I went to my word processor and wrote this little thing. Next I clicked on where it indicates, “Save.” A little box appeared asking me to name whatever it was I wanted to Save. I typed “Tibet.”
Tah dah!
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 26, 2011
7/17/2011
I HAVE AN IDEA
By now it is obvious to everyone that the Powers That Be in Washington are having severe budget problems. This is happening at a time when many people are saying the United States economy is sinking to depression level.
There are many people still alive who remember the Great Depression of the 1930s. Well, there still are a few people. At that time there were several government programs to help unemployed people but the main thing that happened to pull the country out of the depression was World War II.
At that time all of the industries went full bore producing goods for the “war effort”. That certainly was a factor in putting an end to that depression. It seems to me that might be what we need right now. Perhaps a war would help things.
Oh, that's right. We already have one of those and it doesn't seem to be helping at all.
Back to the drawing board.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 17, 2011
There are many people still alive who remember the Great Depression of the 1930s. Well, there still are a few people. At that time there were several government programs to help unemployed people but the main thing that happened to pull the country out of the depression was World War II.
At that time all of the industries went full bore producing goods for the “war effort”. That certainly was a factor in putting an end to that depression. It seems to me that might be what we need right now. Perhaps a war would help things.
Oh, that's right. We already have one of those and it doesn't seem to be helping at all.
Back to the drawing board.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 17, 2011
6/25/2011
OOPS
A couple of days ago I wrote about creating a short story I called "Steinbeck Is Dead." I found I had made a mistake (Crowd gasps!) and clicking the suggested link didn't work.
It works now.
At least I think it works now and if you are interested you can also click here -- I think.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 25, 2011
It works now.
At least I think it works now and if you are interested you can also click here -- I think.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 25, 2011
6/23/2011
A SECRET I'LL SHARE
It dawned on me that I ran across a great secret and yet I’ve never seen mentioned anywhere. I can personally vouch for its validity and will pass it on to you as my contribution to future generations.
The road to the discovery I made began when I accidentally fell and broke my hip about a year ago. I use the word “accidentally” because there are some people who seem to think I did it deliberately to avoid certain chores around the house but that simply is not true. It was an accident.
After the surgery I was fortunate enough to qualify for some intensive physical therapy for about a month. At the end of that time I was mobile but far from being back to what I was. However, this did not bother me because I clearly remembered going into the U.S. Navy Flight Training program and bring whipped into great shape. It only took about three months.
So, I set about mimicking that training routine and it was difficult but I knew it would get easier in three months. I had done it before, I certainly could do it again if I set my mind to it.
Three months later I deduced that wasn’t true. I had given it my best shot and after three months I was no better, possibly worse, than before I started.
I think I have finally have the answer and I figured this out without the help of any outside guidance. It was fairly simple: The human body at 20 years old is not the same as the human body when it’s 88 years old.
You would think that, along the way, someone would have mentioned this. But “No”, I was left to figure it out myself.
So, I now pass it along to you and hope you never actually need this information. However, if you do, I am positive the 20-year old body and the 88-year old body are not identical. Or even close.
My advice is still the same: Don’t fall down! This is an age-neutral piece of advice and it’s the same if you are 20 years old with a slight case of acne or a mature 88 with gray hair that makes you look sexy.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 23, 2011
The road to the discovery I made began when I accidentally fell and broke my hip about a year ago. I use the word “accidentally” because there are some people who seem to think I did it deliberately to avoid certain chores around the house but that simply is not true. It was an accident.
After the surgery I was fortunate enough to qualify for some intensive physical therapy for about a month. At the end of that time I was mobile but far from being back to what I was. However, this did not bother me because I clearly remembered going into the U.S. Navy Flight Training program and bring whipped into great shape. It only took about three months.
So, I set about mimicking that training routine and it was difficult but I knew it would get easier in three months. I had done it before, I certainly could do it again if I set my mind to it.
Three months later I deduced that wasn’t true. I had given it my best shot and after three months I was no better, possibly worse, than before I started.
I think I have finally have the answer and I figured this out without the help of any outside guidance. It was fairly simple: The human body at 20 years old is not the same as the human body when it’s 88 years old.
You would think that, along the way, someone would have mentioned this. But “No”, I was left to figure it out myself.
So, I now pass it along to you and hope you never actually need this information. However, if you do, I am positive the 20-year old body and the 88-year old body are not identical. Or even close.
My advice is still the same: Don’t fall down! This is an age-neutral piece of advice and it’s the same if you are 20 years old with a slight case of acne or a mature 88 with gray hair that makes you look sexy.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 23, 2011
6/22/2011
I WROTE A STORY
Many of you may have heard of a program called OLLI. To quote from the catalog:
The Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at CSU Monterey Bay was established in 2007 with a grant from the Bernard Osher Foundation. We bring the joy and stimulation of lifelong learning to adults age 50 and better who are interested in university-level education without the pressure of course credits or grades.
This program exists at many colleges and last year I signed up for a “Writers’ Circle” group. Each week we would get together and read, comment and occasionally praise each others efforts.
There was one man who laughingly referred to himself as “The Adverb Police.” He would take whatever I wrote and circle all the words ending with “ly.” The contention was that using these adverbs constituted “bad writing.” And he was not alone in that belief. Many respected authorities agree.
So, sort of as a joke, I started to write a short story about all the books with adverbs in the title being missing from the library. I got so interested in writing the story and it kind of “got away from me.” I had intended to read it at the meeting but it became much longer than I had thought it would.
I think it's a fun story to read so I posted it at my website for anyone and everyone to read. The title is “Steinbeck Is Dead” and you should be able to read it by clicking on that title or here.
I hope you enjoy it and I'd appreciate any comments or questions to oldprof@oldprof.com
P.S. There are several hidden giggles in the story. If you think you may have missed them, and that's probably, I'll be happy to point them out. Just ask me via e-mail at oldprof@oldprof.com
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 22, 2011
The Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at CSU Monterey Bay was established in 2007 with a grant from the Bernard Osher Foundation. We bring the joy and stimulation of lifelong learning to adults age 50 and better who are interested in university-level education without the pressure of course credits or grades.
This program exists at many colleges and last year I signed up for a “Writers’ Circle” group. Each week we would get together and read, comment and occasionally praise each others efforts.
There was one man who laughingly referred to himself as “The Adverb Police.” He would take whatever I wrote and circle all the words ending with “ly.” The contention was that using these adverbs constituted “bad writing.” And he was not alone in that belief. Many respected authorities agree.
So, sort of as a joke, I started to write a short story about all the books with adverbs in the title being missing from the library. I got so interested in writing the story and it kind of “got away from me.” I had intended to read it at the meeting but it became much longer than I had thought it would.
I think it's a fun story to read so I posted it at my website for anyone and everyone to read. The title is “Steinbeck Is Dead” and you should be able to read it by clicking on that title or here.
I hope you enjoy it and I'd appreciate any comments or questions to oldprof@oldprof.com
P.S. There are several hidden giggles in the story. If you think you may have missed them, and that's probably, I'll be happy to point them out. Just ask me via e-mail at oldprof@oldprof.com
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 22, 2011
6/21/2011
I AM STILL HERE ALIVE AND --- WELL?
I recently received e-mails from many people who said they missed my regular blogging. Well, two actually.
It’s always nice to be missed and it’s true, I started blogging about 7 or 8 years ago but lately haven’t seemed to come up with anything that even interests me.
It may be an age thing but I don’t think so. It’s more probable that I have said everything worth saying and there is a seldom observed rule: “When one has nothing more to say one should stop talking.”
Of course, exceptions are made for politicians who must keep talking lest people forget they are there making them potential candidates for the unemployment line. There are already too many unemployed without my causing more.
I don’t mean to imply that a politician being unemployed would necessarily be a bad thing. For many we would notice a major improvement in the way government functions.
I certainly appreciate being missed and don’t want to lose any friends, even the invisible kind. They aren’t the same as “the imaginary kind” though I don’t want to lose those either. Some of them are my best friends.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 21, 2011
It’s always nice to be missed and it’s true, I started blogging about 7 or 8 years ago but lately haven’t seemed to come up with anything that even interests me.
It may be an age thing but I don’t think so. It’s more probable that I have said everything worth saying and there is a seldom observed rule: “When one has nothing more to say one should stop talking.”
Of course, exceptions are made for politicians who must keep talking lest people forget they are there making them potential candidates for the unemployment line. There are already too many unemployed without my causing more.
I don’t mean to imply that a politician being unemployed would necessarily be a bad thing. For many we would notice a major improvement in the way government functions.
I certainly appreciate being missed and don’t want to lose any friends, even the invisible kind. They aren’t the same as “the imaginary kind” though I don’t want to lose those either. Some of them are my best friends.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 21, 2011
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