NOAH, WHAT WENT WRONG?

This morning I executed a slug in our garden.
If you don’t know what a slug is, just skip this. Trust me, you don’t want to know.

Seeing this slimy, ugly, good-for-nothing creature made me wonder what went wrong. Obviously, something went terribly wrong when Noah was loading his boat. When all the animals came up in pairs, the slug, being both male and female housed in one body, should have at least raised a flag.

If only Noah had said, “Sorry, couples only.” the world would be a much better place today.

But I suppose that would have left him open to some sort of legal action and, in those days, “legal actions” were thunderbolts or locusts and things like that.

So, maybe Noah did fairly well considering the conditions he had to work under.

THE BIG SUR MARATHON RUN

Last week the annual Big Sur Marathon was run here.
“Big Sur” is a place about 26 miles south of here and this race is a world-class event. It takes place on a highway that runs along the coast and is a scenically beautiful, even riding in a car. You can see some of it at http://www.bsim.org/
I watched the recap of it on TV and noted a guy from Kenya won and a very close second was another guy from Kenya. Surprise! Not really.
When the race started the TV announcer said, “Here they are at the 1-mile mark in just under five minutes.”
I thought of myself wogging around the track where it takes me 5 minutes to do one quarter of a mile and thought, “If those guys were on the track with me, they would have passed me 4 times on the first lap.” How humiliating.
Of course, I don't have the advantage of coming from Kenya.

ME VERSUS MY BRAIN

For those of you who have not yet attained the age of 82, listen and learn.

As you well know, you have an acquaintance with your brain that goes back many years. You get to know your brain and how it works. At least it lets you think this is so. However, often we don’t dwell on it but the brain also gets to know us. Well, believe me, it does and after 82 years mine seems to know me fairly well.

And my brain, and I assume most others, is a sneaky dammed thing. It likes to trick me whenever it can.

Here’s a good example. Right now my brain has hidden the manual for the DVD player someplace and is not letting me find it – yet. It did this 3 days ago. I took the manual out of the file cabinet where it belongs (but is rarely found) and then the brain distracted me. It uses that tactic a lot. When I went back to use the manual it was gone. At least I couldn’t find it anywhere.

Ordinarily this might be a panic situation but I have learned quite a bit about my brain and know it doesn’t like to be ignored, so that’s just what I’m doing. I know from experience that pretty soon the brain will tire of this silly game and just quit. Then I will find the manual someplace I hadn’t looked; probably in the back of the freezer or some place like that.

Ah ha! I hadn’t checked the freezer. It must be there. I checked everyplace else.

A GOOD MOVIE

I may be a couple of years late, but that’s nothing new.
Saw a good DVD the other night.
“Under the Tuscan Sun”
We enjoyed it and that seems to be a fairly rare thing these days.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 22, 2005

MY LETTER TO THE POPE

Back in 1985 I bought my first computer and had my first experience with Word Processing. I wrote a “thing” that was “A Letter to the Pope” and several people enjoyed it. Not everyone, but several. Because it’s a bit longer than most blogs I parked it on my web site. To see it click here.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 20, 2005

I'M CONFUSED AGAIN

Two days ago our local paper carried an article with the heading:

LIBRARIES SEEK READERS FOR CHILDREN’S PROGRAMS

I wondered what the qualifications were, what hours were expected and thought I might apply.

Today there was another article with the heading:

POLICE SEEK CHILD MOLESTER

I wondered what the qualifications were, what hours were expected --- Nah.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 19, 2005

CURE FOR LATE DENTAL APPOINTMENTS

About a month ago I had an appointment to see my dentist for my regular checkup. Unfortunately, it was a busy day at the office and I was forced to wait 45 minutes past my appointment time.

This wait turned out to be a mixed blessing because it gave me time to invent my Dentist Promptness Incentive Kit©. The DPIK© simply consists of several small envelopes. Each envelope contains one (1) Oreo cookie and six (6) blueberries. The patient takes these to the regular appointment and for each 15 minutes the appointment is overdue, one DPIK© packet is eaten. Hence, by the time a 45-minute waiting period has passed, the not-patient patient will have chewed up three (3) Oreo cookies and eighteen (18) blueberries. This is sure to catch the attention of the dentist and the reason can be explained.

I’m fairly sure it would only be needed to be done once.

Footnote: Though it should be rarely needed, a clove of fresh garlic may be carried in case the waiting time is more that one hour.

Warning:
Not for use with those taking diabetic medications or those with a severe cases of boredom. Side effects may include thirst, non-thirst, nausea, drowsiness, blurred vision, sexual dysfunction, sexual function, muscle weakness, magazine allergies, or, in rare cases, tooth decay. If symptoms last more than 4 hours, though rare, call the office and ask whatinell is going on.

A NEW POPE IS COMING

I, as well as the rest of the world, am aware that there soon will be a new Pope.

I also note that gamblers are posting odds.

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, of Germany seems
a favorite at III to I,while Cardinal Giacomo Biffi, of the archdiocese of Bologna is a long shot at CXXV to I.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 17, 2005

WOGGER MYSTERY SOLVED

Lately I have been taking some criticism because I claimed to have coined the word “wogging”. Obviously, it’s possible that, unbeknownst to me, I could create a word that someone else already was using. This seems to be the case with “wogging”.

I really did check several online dictionaries and encyclopedias and found no trace of wogging. However, I forgot Google. There are over 1000 references there, including my own blog and a few that kindly referred to mine. And one other.

Some of the references describe it as alternating between walking and jogging such as walk a bit, jog a bit, walk a bit. That’s really called a WJW. Now, this obviously is not wogging but since the name “wjwing” was already used by pole-vaulters I suppose someone just called it "wogging".


Wjwing describes a style of approach to the bar when pole-vaulting and is named after the famous one-legged pole-vaulter from Poland, Stanislau Wjwowski, who competed in the 1940 Olympic Games. Wjwowski -- everyone called him “Wjw” -- would more or less hop down the runway and then soar into the air. Anyone hopping down the runway was said to be doing a “wjw” or “wjwing”.




Many competitors complained because he was only required to get one leg over the bar while they were needed to get both legs over.



Unfortunately, in 1940 World War II forced the cancellation of the Olympic Games so how Wjwowski compared with other top vaulters of the day remains unknown.


When the war ended and Wjwowski was liberated from a Nazi concentration camp he tried pole vaulting again but never regained his previous form. However, his legacy, the term “Wjwing”, or as it’s known today, “Wogging”, lives on.

I ran across this old clipping of Wjwowski as a boy and thought it interesting.



Stan Wjwowski died in 1973 while testing a new shoe for Nike

The above newspaper clippings are shown here with the permission of the Wjwowski children.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 17, 2005

SEEN IN THE M.D.'S WAITING ROOM

The other day we were in a doctor’s waiting room for some routine wait. In the corner diagonally opposite me was a man reading a magazine, which had been thoughtfully provided by the doctor. This man happened to have the worst hacking cough I had heard in a long time. I was concerned and hoped he was covering his mouth when he coughed. He was. He was using the magazine. Yes, he was coughing into the magazine.

Think about that the next time you are in a doctor’s office wondering which magazine would help pass the time.

Even my grandson learned what to do in nursery school. He showed me how he was supposed to cough into the crook of is arm, at the elbow area.

“So germs won’t get on the toys.”

Of course, they don’t have magazines in nursery school.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
April 15, 2005