A SURPRISE AT THE END OF THE YEAR

Today, as the year comes to an end, I received a surprise. I can’t imagine why you should, but maybe you will remember a blog I posted in late April of 2006. It concerned my writing a Letter to the Editor department of our local newspaper. If you want a peek you can click here.
I had forgotten this letter since it concerned a section of rough pavement that has since been repaired. However, I was pleased to see that, once again, it was recognized as the splendid piece of literature it is. In the final issue of the paper for 2006 the editorial staff republishes about a dozen letters they received and enjoyed the most during the year. Now consider the paper publishes 365 days a year and there are always about 10 letters each day. Roughly that means there are more than 3,000 letters printed each year. So you can imagine my surprise when I turned to that page this morning and found my letter reprinted there. Not only was it there, it was Number 1.
For a short time it will be available at the paper but in case you miss it I’ll stick it in here also.

Letters to the editor

A Converted letter writer

Until now I haven't had much faith that letters to the editor ever accomplished much more than make the writer feel better. I may have changed my mind.
A short time ago someone wrote a letter taking the highway department to task for the stretch of Highway 1 going north between Carpenter Street and the turnoff to Pacific Grove. I agreed with the writer that this road is in terrible condition, but I couldn't see how a letter could change anything. I was wrong.
Apparently the highway department took heed. Now, as you drive north, just before Carpenter Street there is a neat, orange triangular sign that says in bold, black letters, "ROUGH ROAD."
Ah, the power of the press.

My name was here
Carmel

I wonder if any letter to the editor ever won a Pulitzer Prize.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 31, 2006

IRONIC HEADLINE

I saw a headline on the front page of our local paper and thought, “How ironic.”

It read:
“Bush taking more time to craft new Iraq policy”

It might have been even better if he had taken more time in the first place.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 29, 2006

ROMANCE IN THE EIGHTIES

I know it must seem incredible to some that a couple approaching their mid-eighties would come across many romantic moments. Yet one happened to me the other day.

The lady who is the Love of my Life and I happened to meet, face to face, as we passed in a hallway. As we paused there for a moment I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and thought how lucky I was that such a lovely lady would be part of my life.

As this warm thought rolled around in my mind she continued to gaze into my eyes and whispered, “Your glasses need cleaning.”

Oh well.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 18, 2006

ANOTHER GREAT IDEA!!

I’ve been seeing many television commercials about a product called Cialis. As I understand it this is supposed to assist males with erectile dysfunction and they say it will work for 36 hours. In the commercials there usually is a couple who are getting into a romantic mood when the doorbell rings. Lo and behold, there’s whole gang of people and they have come to visit. Any thoughts of romantic adventures obviously must be delayed. Here Cialis comes to the rescue because since using this product produces results that will last for 36 hours, the couple can get back to what they were planning as soon as the inconvenient crowd leaves.

In my opinion the advertisers are missing a great opportunity with this product. The 36-hour concept is great but why not advertise it as a product for elderly people who start out to do something and forget what it was but remember the next day?

That should work.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 17, 2006

PRESIDENT BUSH TAKES A STAND

President Bush has expanded the number of African nations receiving special U.S. aid to combat malaria. Mr. Bush says there can be no turning back from his goal of cutting the number of malaria deaths in half in the 15 hardest hit African countries.

Call me cynical but I visualize this announcement possibly coming after an earlier discussion President Bush might have had with his Press Secretary, Tony Snow. It might have gone like this:

PB: Ya know, Tone, these poll things aren’t looking as good as they were before.

TS: I know Mister President. It seems we are involved with some things that are rather unpopular these days.

PB: Well, there must be something out there that isn’t so unpopular.

TS: Yes sir.

PB: I saw a newspaper today and there was something about Israel. How about if I make a statement about Israel and Christmas or something?

TS: Respectfully sir, I think whatever you might say is going to offend someone and with your poll numbers you can’t affords to lose even one percent.

PB: Yup, I suppose you’re right about that. What about this malaria thing? Could we do something there that wouldn’t hurt the polls?

TS: That’s possible sir. You could issue a statement about that.

PB: Should I be for it or against it? What would be best in the polls?

TS: For or against malaria?

PB: Yah.

TS: Well, as far as the polls go it would be good for you to be against malaria.

PB: Okay then. You write it up that way and tell it to those reporter guys but be sure to emphasize that I am against malaria. In a few days we can take another poll and see how I’m doing.

TS: Yes sir.

Well, it could have happened that way..

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 15, 2006

WHAT"S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE

I think it was around 1947 that I saw my first television set. I remember it clearly. It was at a bar in New York City and the television set measured 9 inches diagonally across the screen.  It was showing a hockey game in progress live.  Picture that, a 9-inch black and white TV showing a hockey game and I was behind the bar so I was about 10 feet away and I was hooked. I thought it was the most sensational thing I’d ever seen.

From then on I watched television develop to larger screens, then color pictures and now huge screens with high definition.  As this progressed I noticed watching sporting events kept getting better and better as the networks attempted to make the television viewer have the same experience as the person attending the event.

Now while watching football games I notice that almost all stadiums have now installed giant television screens at one end of the field in an attempt to make the ticket purchaser have the same experience as television viewer at home.

Wait a minute.  That means that a person can now buy a ticket, pay for parking, sit in the middle of crowd (often in bad weather) and not miss anything he could have seen if he stayed home.

What’s wrong with this picture?

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 5, 2006

P.S. I just remembered something the viewer at home doesn’t have.  He doesn’t get to experience that big fat guy with the beer who sits in front of you and jumps up to obstruct the view every time something exciting happens.

I THINK I MADE IT

I made it – I think.

It’s the day following Thanksgiving in USA and as you probably are aware, many people eat too much that day. I was one of the many with emphasis on the TOO in ‘too much’. Way too much!

However, by some miracle of nature my body seems to have managed to process enough food to feed a small nation though it was touch and go there for awhile. Today I am a bit wiser, not that it will matter next time.

I’m not sure if I imagined this or it was a dream but last night I saw a newspaper headline proclaiming: CARMEL MAN EATS SELF TO DEATH.

Never again. Probably Well maybe.

The Old Professor

Carmel, CA

November 24, 2006

HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY

Today is the last Thursday in November, which is a national holiday in the United States. It’s called Thanksgiving Day and it’s traditional that friends and families gather around a table bearing huge amounts of food. We all overeat and give thanks that, in spite of there being millions who are hungry and starving, we are not one of them.

I hope you had a nice day.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
November 23, 2006

I MAKE A GREAT DISCOVERY

I’ve noticed I haven’t been posting any blogs lately. There’s a reason for this. Up until today there really hasn’t been anything worthy of passing on.

Today that changed and I made a major discovery. Like most of my fellow famous discovery people my discovery came about quite by accident. I don’t feel I need to apologize for this as you may recall they say one of the most famous discoverers of all time, Sir Isaac Newton, discovered gravity by noticing an apple falling from a tree. I don’t contend that my discovery ranks with that but it certainly is worth sharing with you and might earn me a place on the Famous Discoveries TV program.

Most people know that dogs need exercise and walking usually takes care of this. Most people, except a few who pass our house, know that walking dogs often pause to take care of a physical elimination situation. Most people, except a few who pass our house, know the courteous thing to do is clean up after your dog finishes its business. This often accomplished in a rather simple fashion. All that’s needed a small plastic bag. The size of the bag is somewhat dependent upon the size of the dog. While staring off into space the dog owner puts his or her hand inside the plastic bag and then, using it as a glove, reaches down and picks up the stuff the dog has left. The scientific name for this stuff is dog poop.

After picking up the dog poop the plastic bag is usually twisted and folded some way to make sure the poop stays inside the bag. This step is fairly critical. It is then taken to wherever unwanted things are taken and disposed of.

Now I realize there isn’t anything there that could possibly be described as a great discovery. Many people already knew that. But here’s something no one I know of has ever mentioned. It is very important that poop picker-upper closely examines the plastic bag prior to using it. One must make sure the bag does not have any holes in it! If it’s clear plastic these holes are difficult to see but I have found that dog poop has an affinity to these holes and, if allowed, the poop will somehow find the hole and be well on its way to your hands. Furthermore, if you decide to transport the twisted and folded bag in your jacket pocket you will have a jacket that may have no future use other than possible attire for attending dogs shows.

I realize this discovery does not really put me in a class with Newton, Columbus and all the other great discoverers but I certainly wish someone had discovered it before I did.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
November 19, 2006

I'M BACK

There is a rather simple reason I haven’t posted a blog here in quite some time. There just hasn’t been anything in my life I considered bloggable. To my mind whatever I write should be important enough to be of interest to someone or at least seem humorous to me. Everything passing through my life in the past few weeks has been as bland as baby food. That’s not a complaint. In fact, I rather like it that way.

All was as dull as usual until this morning. I was listening to the radio while out walking with TDD (The Damned Dog). I heard that China was working trying to help Africa get on its feet and there was a big meeting in Beijing, the capital of China, and there were representatives from 48 African countries. Not too unusual so far, but wait.

Chinese State Councilor Tang Jiaxuan met with officials from African countries at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing, capital of China. The Councilor shook hands with 40 delegates one at a time.

Now the Chinese are known for being responsible for many creative ideas but this idea of shaking hands with people one at a time – who came up with that? Even assuming the reporter meant “one person at a time” rather than “one hand at a time” it still seems rather an inefficient way to do it. You would think someone would have suggested having the delegates stack their hands up, maybe ten to a pile but certainly not “one at a time”.

So that’s how exciting things have been in The Old Professor’s life. Sad isn’t it?

The Old Professor

Carmel, CA

November 4, 2006