I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY

What in the world is going on here and why hasn’t someone else noticed it?  The White House has found the “Get Out of Jail Card”.  Someone has discovered that by saying the words “I take full responsibility” nothing happens and the problem just goes away.

Think back to that fiasco in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina did its thing.  In case you missed it, a gigantic hurricane slammed into New Orleans in late August of 2005.  The reaction of all of the governmental agencies was pathetic.   Michael D. Brown, who was the head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency came under much fire but President Bush arranged a television appearance where he said, “Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job," A couple of days later he was relived of his duties. So much for presidential on-camera praise.

But on September 9, 2005 President Bush again addressed the Katrina problem and said, “To the extent that the federal government didn’t fully do its job right, I take responsibility.” [New York Times, 9/13/05]

Well, no one disagrees with the assumption that “the federal government didn’t fully do its job right” and I wondered what taking the “responsibility” meant. What was going to happen to the person who willingly accepted “responsibility”?  I didn’t see anything unusual happen.

Then I noticed last night (1/10/2005) when the president addressed the nation via television to explain his new approach to the Iraq situation.  He said, “Where mistakes (in Iraq) have been made, the responsibility rests with me.”

Here again, he is taking responsibility but what happens now?  When you or I do something wrong and accept the responsibility there is usually a consequence.  We might feel pain, lose money or maybe even go to prison.  But this new “responsibility” doesn’t seem to involve anything.  How can that be?”

Perhaps the next time I happen to be driving and am stopped by a police officer I’ll just say, “As far as anything I might have done wrong, I’ll accept full responsibility, Officer.”  Then I’ll roll up the window and drive off.  If it works in Washington it should work in Carmel too.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
January 11, 2007

RESCUING ADVENTURERS

Just recently there was a story in the news about a young man who was attempting a solo circumnavigation of the world. He planned to leave the west coast of the United States and sail his 40-foot sailboat around the world all by himself. He happened to run into a huge storm that wrecked his boat but finally, with the help of several governments, he was rescued.

A few weeks ago some young men were attempting to do some rather high mountain climbing and became lost. In spite of hundreds of hours of searching there was no good outcome for this one.

Now I don’t fault anyone who wants to do something challenging, especially if it’s never been done before. However, I do see the television coverage involving search parties, helicopters and all kinds of rescue attempts and I wonder who is paying for it. It must involve a small fortune to search for and find someone lost at sea or a party who has climbed halfway to outer space.

Wouldn’t it make sense that insurance should be required before such undertakings begin? Where I live I am not even allowed to drive my car on the highway without first having insurance to cover any accident I may get involved with. Wouldn’t it make sense to have similar insurance for these adventurers?

Sure it would be expensive but it makes sense to me.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
January 6, 2007

IN THE NEWSPAPER TODAY

I am so grateful that we have daily newspapers. I can’t imagine what life would be like without my daily dose of idiocy appearing in print each day. This morning was no exception.

The Associated Press news agency had a rather nice story this morning about a couple who were about to have a child from a frozen embryo that was rescued from a hospital in New Orleans during the Katrina hurricane disaster. It seems that some police officers had managed to save thousands of frozen embryos when the power was lost at the hospital where the eggs were stored. An official commented:

"That is great! I'm going to call all our officers and tell them. They'll be pretty excited," said Lt. Eric Bumgarner, one of seven Illinois Conservation Police officers and three Louisiana state troopers who sloshed through floodwaters to remove the embryos. Bumgarner said he has often wondered what happened to the embryos: "One of these embryos could be the next president."

Now theoretically this might be possible however since we will get our next president about 2 years from now I think there are constitutional provisions that make it unlikely we will have a 2-year old president. But, in the event these things could somehow be overcome, it might be possible to get a booster seat for him so he could see over his desk and teach him a few more words. Then he could proceed to learn what most 2-year olds learn. Things like, “If you mess around with a bully you are apt to get hurt.” Or even more basic things like, “If you start doing something and it hurts – stop doing it.”

It might work.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
January 4, 2007

ANOTHER HUGE DISCOVERY

The celebrate American author, Mark Twain, once said, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” Well, I may have stumbled upon something that just might refute that. I don’t have the system perfected just yet but I did run a test this morning.

It rain rather heavily all last night. I didn’t have anything to do with that. In fact, I hadn’t discovered my system of weather control yet. That happened later the next morning. It started with my evaluating when I should go outside and do the things I need to do daily. We have a couple of rather rude horses that board here and I throw some hay at these thankless beasts every morning. They seem to ignore the rain as well as the hand that feeds them. And then there is Jake, the small dog we acquired. He needs to be walked every morning. His owner needs to be walked also so he, (aka I) waited as long as possible hoping the rain would stop. It didn’t stop or even slow down so eventually I put on the heavy rain gear and headed out. It was pouring but I did manage to do the hay thing even though I ended up covered with loose hay and looking like the Straw Man in The Wizard of Oz.

Then Jake and I slogged up the road until he got around to do his thing and then we headed back. By this time I was mentally evaluating getting some new rain gear. I’ve read there are pieces of clothing that actually do keep the rain out and really protect whatever is inside. I had pretty well made my decision when I noticed we were in our driveway, trudging uphill towards the house.

Then it stopped raining.

Now in my mind there is absolutely no other conclusion for me to come to other than the fact that the raining and the cessation of the rain were directly related to the decisions I made as to my going outside or not. That’s the basic part of the discovery but I haven’t quite worked out the details of actually controlling it yet. When I discover that I’ll publish it here so the entire world will benefit.

The Soggy Old Professor
Carmel, CA
January 4, 2007

HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED THIS?

I’ve noticed something lately and wonder if anyone else has. Lately it seems that when I drop something on the floor and bend over to pick it up the distance is much longer than it used to be.  Now it takes me much more time to retrieve the item than it formerly did.

Though I don’t have any scientific backup on this, my theory is that our planet is getting smaller hence the distance an item travels before it hits the floor is longer than it previously was.  Naturally, the retrieval time is longer too.

I wonder what’s causing this shrinking. Maybe I should write to Al Gore and ask him.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
January 2, 2007

A SURPRISE AT THE END OF THE YEAR

Today, as the year comes to an end, I received a surprise. I can’t imagine why you should, but maybe you will remember a blog I posted in late April of 2006. It concerned my writing a Letter to the Editor department of our local newspaper. If you want a peek you can click here.
I had forgotten this letter since it concerned a section of rough pavement that has since been repaired. However, I was pleased to see that, once again, it was recognized as the splendid piece of literature it is. In the final issue of the paper for 2006 the editorial staff republishes about a dozen letters they received and enjoyed the most during the year. Now consider the paper publishes 365 days a year and there are always about 10 letters each day. Roughly that means there are more than 3,000 letters printed each year. So you can imagine my surprise when I turned to that page this morning and found my letter reprinted there. Not only was it there, it was Number 1.
For a short time it will be available at the paper but in case you miss it I’ll stick it in here also.

Letters to the editor

A Converted letter writer

Until now I haven't had much faith that letters to the editor ever accomplished much more than make the writer feel better. I may have changed my mind.
A short time ago someone wrote a letter taking the highway department to task for the stretch of Highway 1 going north between Carpenter Street and the turnoff to Pacific Grove. I agreed with the writer that this road is in terrible condition, but I couldn't see how a letter could change anything. I was wrong.
Apparently the highway department took heed. Now, as you drive north, just before Carpenter Street there is a neat, orange triangular sign that says in bold, black letters, "ROUGH ROAD."
Ah, the power of the press.

My name was here
Carmel

I wonder if any letter to the editor ever won a Pulitzer Prize.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 31, 2006

IRONIC HEADLINE

I saw a headline on the front page of our local paper and thought, “How ironic.”

It read:
“Bush taking more time to craft new Iraq policy”

It might have been even better if he had taken more time in the first place.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 29, 2006

ROMANCE IN THE EIGHTIES

I know it must seem incredible to some that a couple approaching their mid-eighties would come across many romantic moments. Yet one happened to me the other day.

The lady who is the Love of my Life and I happened to meet, face to face, as we passed in a hallway. As we paused there for a moment I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and thought how lucky I was that such a lovely lady would be part of my life.

As this warm thought rolled around in my mind she continued to gaze into my eyes and whispered, “Your glasses need cleaning.”

Oh well.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 18, 2006

ANOTHER GREAT IDEA!!

I’ve been seeing many television commercials about a product called Cialis. As I understand it this is supposed to assist males with erectile dysfunction and they say it will work for 36 hours. In the commercials there usually is a couple who are getting into a romantic mood when the doorbell rings. Lo and behold, there’s whole gang of people and they have come to visit. Any thoughts of romantic adventures obviously must be delayed. Here Cialis comes to the rescue because since using this product produces results that will last for 36 hours, the couple can get back to what they were planning as soon as the inconvenient crowd leaves.

In my opinion the advertisers are missing a great opportunity with this product. The 36-hour concept is great but why not advertise it as a product for elderly people who start out to do something and forget what it was but remember the next day?

That should work.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 17, 2006

PRESIDENT BUSH TAKES A STAND

President Bush has expanded the number of African nations receiving special U.S. aid to combat malaria. Mr. Bush says there can be no turning back from his goal of cutting the number of malaria deaths in half in the 15 hardest hit African countries.

Call me cynical but I visualize this announcement possibly coming after an earlier discussion President Bush might have had with his Press Secretary, Tony Snow. It might have gone like this:

PB: Ya know, Tone, these poll things aren’t looking as good as they were before.

TS: I know Mister President. It seems we are involved with some things that are rather unpopular these days.

PB: Well, there must be something out there that isn’t so unpopular.

TS: Yes sir.

PB: I saw a newspaper today and there was something about Israel. How about if I make a statement about Israel and Christmas or something?

TS: Respectfully sir, I think whatever you might say is going to offend someone and with your poll numbers you can’t affords to lose even one percent.

PB: Yup, I suppose you’re right about that. What about this malaria thing? Could we do something there that wouldn’t hurt the polls?

TS: That’s possible sir. You could issue a statement about that.

PB: Should I be for it or against it? What would be best in the polls?

TS: For or against malaria?

PB: Yah.

TS: Well, as far as the polls go it would be good for you to be against malaria.

PB: Okay then. You write it up that way and tell it to those reporter guys but be sure to emphasize that I am against malaria. In a few days we can take another poll and see how I’m doing.

TS: Yes sir.

Well, it could have happened that way..

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 15, 2006