WHAT A THRILL!

What a thrill!
I had a birthday.
I posted a blog about it.
I got many comments.
Most wanted to know, “Where’s your daughter?”
Now I know how George Bush the First must feel.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 28, 2006

PS Daughter Meggiecat is well but away from her computer for a couple of weeks. She should return soon.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US

Well, here it is again – March 26 and we are a year older.
“We” means my Domestic Partner, Jen-Chi and I were both born on March 26th which makes it easy for me to remember her birthday.

People are always saying to me, “Professor, I don’t want to be old.” Let me give you some advice. When you were born in 1923, believe me, you want to be old today. Each night I go to bed hoping I’ll wake up old. Each morning I get up and am thankful I’m old. Getting old ain’t all that bad -– in fact in my case, it’s pretty damned good.

Hmm, that reminds me. I remember when “ain’t” was a bad word even though it was used in songs (“It Ain’t Necessarily So” and “Ain’t Misbehavin’”, to mention a couple) That’s pretty mild when compared to some songs today.

I guess I am getting old but don’t tell anyone, I’m loving it and, if I had a choice, I wouldn’t have it any other way..

Happy birthday to me!

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 26, 2006

JAKE'S PAST LIFE

As some of you may know, we now have a dog and it’s a Shih Tzu named Jake. We adopted him about a month ago now and the vet estimates he’s around 5 years old. We now see definite character things that weren’t immediately obvious.

For example, we look at his face.
The big bushy eyebrows makes us think he looks like Andy Rooney, the CBS commentator on Sixty Minutes.

  ANDY ROONEY

      JAKE
When walking behind Jake one can’t help but notice the way his rear end sways back and forth. It brings to memory the way that Marilyn Monroe used to walk.

We both agree on both of these conclusions and can only wonder if it’s possible that Jake is older than he seems and is really the love child of Andy Rooney and Marilyn Monroe.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 22, 2006

MY DAD WOULD LOVE THIS

Some time back I posted a picture on my web site. It was an old, brownish-colored photograph of my father who was once a motorcycle policeman. It was taken in 1925 in Springfield, Massachusetts and shows him in uniform sitting on his motorcycle. If you are interested click here to see it.

Today I received e-mail from a man in England who, in his words, “is a retired motorcycle cop”. He is now “running a motorcycle club website for retired and still serving police officers”.
He had posted the picture of my dad from my web site and was asking for permission to use it. Of course I was delighted to have him use it.

It would have made my Dad really happy to know he was worthy of worldwide prominence.

Heck, I knew that years and years ago.

If you would be interested in seeing the Blue Knights of England web site click on http://www.geocities.com/englandxiii/photos6.html
My dad is number 7.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 22, 2006

WHAT DO YOU EARN?

Each Sunday our local paper has an enclosure. It’s a magazine, called Parade. On the cover there are 26 pictures of people and, in bold letters, “WHAT PEOPLE EARN”. This struck a sensitive spot with me as I have always been interested in words and their meanings even to the extent of being annoying to some.

Many times I’ve heard, “Well, you know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t. I only know what you said and here’s some news for you, nobody else knows either.”

So I wondered why Parade Magazine used the word “earn”. Perhaps I don’t understand what “earn” means. So, I do what I often do and go to the dictionary.



Now I see “for performance of service, labor or work.” Or “deserve as a result of effort or action.”

How does a well-known screen star “earn” millions of dollars? “Get” millions or is “paid millions”, of course but earning it doesn’t seem to fit the word.

Another thing I noted was the picture of Alex Rodriguez and his salary of $25 million dollars a year. No one can argue that he isn’t a splendid baseball player – possibly one of the best ever, but 25 million dollars? Come on.

Let’s try to fit that into something. I believe in 2005 a US Senator was paid around $170,000 a year. There are 50 senators. That means the salary for the entire United States Senate is 8.5 million. Look at that! Alex Rodriguez gets paid almost three times as much as the entire United States Senate just for playing baseball during the summer.

Of course, he gets other money on the side too but lately we are learning that senators do also.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 16, 2006

I NEVER SAID I WAS SMART

Telling you about the little adventure I had this morning will not make me look like the brightest bulb on the tree but still, I must tell it.

I have changed my wogging routine. I now go to a health club and do my wogging on a treadmill. It seems to be working well especially since the weather lately has not been conducive to outdoor activities of any kind. This morning I decided to go all the way and after wogging I’d use the health club’s sauna, as well as showering, shaving and dressing in clean clothes.

When I brought the dirty clothes home I decided to put them directly into the washing machine. I did this but before adding the water I decided to take inventory to make sure everything was out of the dirty clothes. I checked and found my wallet was where it was supposed to be in my pants pocket and so were my cars keys. My cell phone is one of those thin Razr ones and it fits into a clip on my belt. The clip was empty. No cell phone. I took all the sweaty clothes out of the washing machine and checked them again. Still no cell phone.

I looked all over the house even though I was sure I hadn’t put it anywhere. I finally decided to use the regular house phone to call the cell phone. That way when I heard it ring I would know where it was. I punched in the number and heard my cell phone’s distinctive ring. I followed the sound and it seemed to come from the other room. I went in there but the phone only rings a certain number of times so I called again and the ring seemed to be coming from a drawer. I searched all the drawers and didn’t see any phone. By this time I needed to call again and it seemed to come from a different room but I couldn’t find it. I finally went back to the car in the garage and, yes, it was ringing inside the car but I couldn’t find where.

I completely exhausted every idea I had as to where the phone was. I sat down to think about and for some reason Maxwell Smart came to my mind. He was the secret agent played by Don Adams in an old TV comedy called Get Smart. One of the devices he had was a shoe telephone. So, I took off my shoe and there it was. (I told you it was thin.) I had been walking on my cell phone and all this time I had been calling my right foot.

So, here’s a bit of advice. The next time you can’t seem to find something, look in your shoe.

By the way, my cell phone screen tells me I “Missed 10 calls -- Caller unknown.” The stupid phone, which is supposed to be so smart, doesn’t even know when its owner is calling it.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 13, 20006

GOD DID IT -- I THINK

Someone once said, “God is watching and is He pissed!”

Don’t look at me, I didn’t say it, someone else did.

Whatever, He/She must have really been mad last night. There was a clap of thunder so loud that I thought God had personally hit the house and then it snowed. Snowed in Carmel, CA! That never happens. In fact, we don’t allow it as it hurts the tourist business. I’m sure if it had happened during the day someone would have put a stop to it. Probably Clint Eastwood. Even though he’s no longer mayor of Carmel I’m sure he’d put a stop to that nonsense.

Of course, there wasn’t much snow but enough to remind me why I drove across the country back in the early 50s.
And it was all gone soon after daylight came but I did get a picture.

Jake, the dog liked it.

This was the rhubarb plant

The temperature also dropped lower than I have ever seen it here.

That's 32 degrees!

If I did it God, I’m sorry and I won’t do it again.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 11, 2006

SEEING THIS DOES NOT MAKE ME WEIRD

As some of you know my Domestic Partner (that’s what they call us and we are registered as such in California) is a lovely lady who, many years ago, was born in China. For her, English is still a second language and as a result many subtleties I see everyday escape her completely. In fact, she often thinks I’m weird and I’ve tried to find people to argue that with her on that point but so far have found none.

So, I need to share something I saw today with someone so you are IT!

There was an ad for a grocery store in this morning’s paper.

As you can see they are selling avocados. Not only that, but they are Hass Avocadoes which I’m guessing are something special.

Now look towards the bottom of the picture. Is that or is that not a picture of a Half-Hass Avocado?

That’s what I thought. How does that make me weird?

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 7, 2006

AND FOR THE BEST SONG

Okay, so It's Hard Out There for a Pimp. (78th Oscar winner for Best Song)
Whachoo cryin to me fo, pimp?
I ain duh one who toll you be a pimp.
Wuz you dare on career day when all dem guys come by to tell ya whatchoo can be when you graduate?
So you decide to be a pimp cuz you think it’s easy and you git all kynes of hoes.
Well, now you know. It ain lak dat at all.
And jess fo you imfomation, pimp, it ain lak dat in udder jobs too.
I spoze you tink be in a school teacher is easy, huh?
Well, I’ll tell ya dat song could juss as easy be written fo a school teacher.
In fak, I think I’ll do it.
I’ll start wid da title. It's Hard Out Here for a School Teacher.
Yah, dats gonna be a hit!

Duh Ol Profeser
Carmel, CA
March 6, 2006

AN INTERESTING GADGET

First, I'd like to take a second or two to thank all of you who wrote wondering where I was and why I haven't posted any blogs lately. I appreciate your concern and want to assure both of you that I am well and suffering from nothing more severe than a good case of procrastination plus the realization that I didn't really have anything to say. I think there's an old saying that goes something like, "It's better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubts."

Anyway, I ran across something about our new Prius Hybrid automobile the other day that once again amazed me.

The other night it was dark and I had occasion to be backing out of a rather tight spot between two gateposts. As you know most cars have a side view mirror on each side. The one on our passenger side looks like this.



As I backed out I clipped the side view mirror on the passenger side and it bent back about 90 degrees. When I got home I examined it to assess the damage.


It was then I discovered the mirror is designed top bend back 90 degrees in that direction. I suppose it's to take care of idiots who back up into gateposts at night or even those who do it in the daytime too.

I just snapped it back into position and it was as good as new.

Thank you Toyota!

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
March 3, 2006