There must be something about my appearance that draws strange people to me. This morning I was in a pet supply store and I had our dog, Jake, on a leash. A rather large man wearing some kind of delivery person's uniform stopped and said, “Hi” to the dog.
Nothing weird yet. Many people do that. However, afterward he turned to me and said, “That's a nice dog. I saw one just like that get run over by a truck – the truck ran right over him. He just got up and ran away.”
Okay, a little different but then he said, “If God can do that for a dog, why can't he do it for a person?”
Then he turned and walked away. I hadn't said a word.
Now that's a little bizarre even for me.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 30, 2006
6/30/2006
6/27/2006
I GET ELEGANT
(Please excuse the image overlapping on the right but I wanted to be sure you could see this.)
The other day I ran across a software program that was new to me. It promises to take any text I write and dress it up. That is, it’s supposed to catch any grammatical errors, suggest better word usage or, in general, make what I write more elegant. I figured I could use a bit of elegance so I bought it. In order to test it I wrote this rather inelegant sentence.
I ain’t going to no movie with nobody.
Then I pushed the magic key and saw these suggestions.
Ah ha, so “movie” ain’t such an elegant word.
The program suggests I might want to use “picture” or “feature” to enhance my word.
Okay then but I still ain’t going to no impressive feature with nobody.
Pass the champagne please.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 27, 2006
The other day I ran across a software program that was new to me. It promises to take any text I write and dress it up. That is, it’s supposed to catch any grammatical errors, suggest better word usage or, in general, make what I write more elegant. I figured I could use a bit of elegance so I bought it. In order to test it I wrote this rather inelegant sentence.
I ain’t going to no movie with nobody.
Then I pushed the magic key and saw these suggestions.
Ah ha, so “movie” ain’t such an elegant word.
The program suggests I might want to use “picture” or “feature” to enhance my word.
Okay then but I still ain’t going to no impressive feature with nobody.
Pass the champagne please.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 27, 2006
6/25/2006
GLOBAL WARMING HINT
It seems that LIFE magazine now appears in my Sunday newspaper as a small supplement.
This past Sunday it contained an article that addressed Global Warming and offer 5 steps that anyone can do to help correct this situation. I was amazed and more than a little amused by selection Number 1.
That is Number 1?
I guess all this talk about alternative fuels is just nonsense. As long as everyone brings a garment bag to the dry cleaners the problem is well in its way to being solved.
At least I’m doing my part. I haven’t been to a dry cleaner in several years now. Perhaps that should be the Number 1 suggestion: Don’t buy things that need dry cleaning!
That’s probably impossible because the dry cleaners probably have a powerful lobbyist in Washington and he wouldn’t like that.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 25, 2006
This past Sunday it contained an article that addressed Global Warming and offer 5 steps that anyone can do to help correct this situation. I was amazed and more than a little amused by selection Number 1.
That is Number 1?At least I’m doing my part. I haven’t been to a dry cleaner in several years now. Perhaps that should be the Number 1 suggestion: Don’t buy things that need dry cleaning!
That’s probably impossible because the dry cleaners probably have a powerful lobbyist in Washington and he wouldn’t like that.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 25, 2006
6/24/2006
ARCHIMEDES AND STUFF LIKE THAT
Way back around 200 BC there was a Greek man named Archimedes. He lived on the island of Sicily, which is now part of Italy, but then it belonged to Greece. Archimedes was an inventor and scientist who discovered many things we take for granted these days. Much of his work was around hydraulics and pulleys and other work-saving devices.
The other day I was listening to a program where they were dramatizing various scientific discoveries and they had different voices imitating what they assumed each scientist would sound like. I was amazed that Archimedes spoke English as well as he did even though he had a heavy accent.
He actually said something like, “You a givea me a lever an a placea to stan an I canna liffa da worl.” It sounded just like a line from some movie version of a mafia leader.
On the other hand, if he had spoken Greek and said, "Εάν μου δίνετε έναν μοχλό αρκετό καιρό και μια θέση στη στάση, μπορώ να ανυψώσω τον κόσμο" I wouldn’t have understood.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 24, 2006
The other day I was listening to a program where they were dramatizing various scientific discoveries and they had different voices imitating what they assumed each scientist would sound like. I was amazed that Archimedes spoke English as well as he did even though he had a heavy accent.
He actually said something like, “You a givea me a lever an a placea to stan an I canna liffa da worl.” It sounded just like a line from some movie version of a mafia leader.
On the other hand, if he had spoken Greek and said, "Εάν μου δίνετε έναν μοχλό αρκετό καιρό και μια θέση στη στάση, μπορώ να ανυψώσω τον κόσμο" I wouldn’t have understood.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 24, 2006
6/23/2006
ANOTHER DISCOVERY
I’ve always been interested in how things are made. I recently watched a TV documentary showing how bathtubs are made. Bathtubs, at least some bathtubs, are actually made out of cast iron. However, cast iron is highly susceptible to rust so they are coated with hard, non-porous enamel.
That in itself isn’t a terribly exciting thing to know but I was also reading about teeth and they are much the same. Not from the rust angle but from the outer coating being a hard, porcelain-type enamel.
So if you see the similarity between bathtubs and teeth you will see why I was excited to see this new product.
It’s called SCRUB FREE and is really intended for cleaning bathtubs without any scrubbing. You just spray it on and rinse it off. Though I’m sure the inventors didn’t have this in mind but it should work great for teeth too. It does say something about wearing gloves but that’s not too difficult if it would eliminate that old-fashioned tooth brushing routine. Do you realize how much time you could save over a lifetime?
There is one detail I haven’t worked out yet and it concerns the fumes that apparently are generated. It suggests if vapors bother you leave the room. I haven’t quite got that part worked out but I’m working on it. So far I think it’s OK for denture wearers.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 23, 2006
P.S. Do not try this at home as it is still in the experimental stage.
6/21/2006
LIFE EXPECTANCY
From 1966 to 1968 I was working for the U. S. State Department as part of a program that was then known as AID, which stood for Agency For International development. I was part of a team that went to a small country in Africa called Malawi. We were there to train Malawians in some of the modern technologies such as electronics, machine tools, welding, etc. The goal was for this very poor country to be able to get out of the primitive age and into a thriving modern society.
I recently went online to check and see how they were doing these days. The simple answer is, “Not so good.” They still rank near the bottom of the ladder in almost everything.
One thing in particular caught my eye. At birth today the average life expectancy in Malawi is 37.6 years for a male and 36.6 for a female. Though that is one of the lowest, it seems all of the countries in that general area have very low life expectancies. For a comparison, in the United States a man can expect to live to better than 77 years of age. In Japan it’s over 80 and for some reason the people in the small country of Andorra can expect to hit 83. I wondered why Andorra was so great so I did some research and found that Andorra is a tiny country tucked between Spain and France. In looking at all the statistics I could find I didn’t spot any obvious reason for their longevity until I read, “Many immigrants (legal and illegal) are attracted to the thriving economy with its lack of income taxes.”
Ah ha! No income taxes. I’m guessing here but it’s possible that the amount of income is so small it’s not considered worth bothering with. Be that as it may, I was still considering moving there until I read the main industry is “tourism because of skiing”. As I recall skiing and snow usually go together. The first 38 years of my life I lived with snow, which leads me to wonder if they really do live longer or it just seems longer.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 21, 2006
I recently went online to check and see how they were doing these days. The simple answer is, “Not so good.” They still rank near the bottom of the ladder in almost everything.
One thing in particular caught my eye. At birth today the average life expectancy in Malawi is 37.6 years for a male and 36.6 for a female. Though that is one of the lowest, it seems all of the countries in that general area have very low life expectancies. For a comparison, in the United States a man can expect to live to better than 77 years of age. In Japan it’s over 80 and for some reason the people in the small country of Andorra can expect to hit 83. I wondered why Andorra was so great so I did some research and found that Andorra is a tiny country tucked between Spain and France. In looking at all the statistics I could find I didn’t spot any obvious reason for their longevity until I read, “Many immigrants (legal and illegal) are attracted to the thriving economy with its lack of income taxes.”
Ah ha! No income taxes. I’m guessing here but it’s possible that the amount of income is so small it’s not considered worth bothering with. Be that as it may, I was still considering moving there until I read the main industry is “tourism because of skiing”. As I recall skiing and snow usually go together. The first 38 years of my life I lived with snow, which leads me to wonder if they really do live longer or it just seems longer.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 21, 2006
6/20/2006
WATER WATER EVERYWHERE
We live on what is know as the Monterey Peninsula. This means we are, more or less, surrounded on three sides by the Pacific Ocean. Almost any direction we look we see endless expanses of water. Yet one of our largest problems is water. That is, usable water. There currently are experiments going on to get more water by desalinization but for now our water is in short supply and expensive. If a watering hose is left on accidentally overnight our water bill is huge. However, our water is very drinkable and I am constantly amazed at the amount of bottled water that is sold and the price people will pay for it.
My amazement soared the other day when I saw some 1-gallon, glass bottles on the shelf and noticed where it came from. Using the equally amazing power of my cell phone to take photos I snapped this picture.
NEW ZEALAND!!! New Zealand is almost 7,000 miles away from here and yet it’s possible to ship water and sell it at a cost people are willing to pay. Amazing.
I wonder if the people who buy this are the same ones who complain about the high cost of gasoline.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 20, 2006
6/19/2006
MY SEX EDUCATION
I’m not really sure what the recommended protocol is these days for teaching your children about sex. However, I do clearly remember the way my parents did it for me many, many years ago. My parental sex education took two sessions. The first one came when I was in my early teens. For some reason my father needed to go out one evening on some work-related thing. He asked if I wanted to go along for the ride. Since this was such a rare occurrence – like never – I accepted. We drove for about ten minutes in complete silence. This was not unusual as my dad was not a very talkative guy anyway. Finally he spoke one sentence. He said, “Don’t play with yourself.”
That was it. My complete sex education was delivered in four words. Well, five actually because I replied “Okay.” and that subject was never mentioned for another ten years or so. Then it was my mother who decided to complete my sex education.
It was just prior to my getting married and I can see her now, dusting the dining room table. Without stopping or looking up she said, “I’m concerned about your marrying this young lady. She seems rather on the frail side and there’s one thing for sure, when men don’t get sex regularly they get grouchy.” That was it!
Now you may think this is dumb for me to write this here but frankly, I don’t care what you think. I never asked you to read this in the first place. If you don’t like it, get the hell out of here and don’t come back. Sheez!
That was it. My complete sex education was delivered in four words. Well, five actually because I replied “Okay.” and that subject was never mentioned for another ten years or so. Then it was my mother who decided to complete my sex education.
It was just prior to my getting married and I can see her now, dusting the dining room table. Without stopping or looking up she said, “I’m concerned about your marrying this young lady. She seems rather on the frail side and there’s one thing for sure, when men don’t get sex regularly they get grouchy.” That was it!
Now you may think this is dumb for me to write this here but frankly, I don’t care what you think. I never asked you to read this in the first place. If you don’t like it, get the hell out of here and don’t come back. Sheez!
6/10/2006
I STAY OUT OF TROUBLE
Every now and then something happens to me that further convinces me there is some power watching over me and keeping me out of trouble most of the time. Well, some of the time anyway. I don’t have a name for this though I realize some people call this power God and others call it The Force but I know it’s there. It really saved me a couple of days ago. I had written a blog on June 7, 2006 and went to post it only to get the message that the “system was down – try later”. I did try later and it still wasn’t working so I temporarily gave up the idea.
By the time I did manage to get connected I had decided not to post it at all. I had written about the date June 6, 2006 which some people were interpreting as 6-6-6, which, according to The Bible (Revelation 14:9-11) is The Mark Of The Beast.
In the blog that I decided not to post I was pointing out that the Bible was a collection of stories, poems and essays written a long time ago by some people who weren’t even high school graduates. But I eventually decided not to post it at all since it might offend people who are strong bible believers.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 10, 2006
By the time I did manage to get connected I had decided not to post it at all. I had written about the date June 6, 2006 which some people were interpreting as 6-6-6, which, according to The Bible (Revelation 14:9-11) is The Mark Of The Beast.
In the blog that I decided not to post I was pointing out that the Bible was a collection of stories, poems and essays written a long time ago by some people who weren’t even high school graduates. But I eventually decided not to post it at all since it might offend people who are strong bible believers.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 10, 2006
6/01/2006
ANOTHER PROBLEM SOLVED
In yesterday’s blog (see Previous Posts to right) I came up with the idea of putting our small dog, Jake, in the clothes drier set on low. This would give him exercise instead of my walking him each day. The only drawback that I could see was Jake being in the dark. So I came up with this miner's hat.
I haven’t actually tried it yet but it should work fine.
The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
June 1, 2006
PS This blog reflects my own personal opionions and experiences. Do not try this without consulting a trained professional.
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