KAH-CHING KAH-CHING

I’ve mentioned previously that we have a small dog named Jake. He’s a Shih Tzu we adopted from an animal shelter. He’s a great dog but has some kind of problem that has him scratching all the time. We started out trying to get help from our regular veterinarian with no luck. We even went to a Veterinary Acupuncturist with zero success. So a couple of months ago we ended with an Animal Dermatologist. One wouldn’t think there would be sufficient patients for such a specialty but the waiting room is fairly full whenever we go there. They even have Animal Ophthalmologists but thankfully Jake’s eyes seem good so far.

We are still working on trying to determine and fix what’s bothering the little fellow but I ran into an interesting thing this morning. The Animal Dermatologist we are working with is only one of a group. The name of the group is Dermatology For Animals, which they abbreviate on all their stationary as D4A. I was writing about them and made a typographical error. I meant to type D4A but accidentally held the shift key down while typing the number “4” so the actual name came out to be D$A!

In perusing the bill I think that D$A is a much better title -- especially in Red.
My only suggestion would be that it be D$A.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 31, 2006

NOBODY DIES ANYMORE

I wonder if anyone dies anymore.

Each morning I read the local paper and even though I know very few people in this area I always read the obituaries. I think it’s mostly to be sure I’m not listed in there yet and also a little of the morbid curiosity factor.

But lately I notice almost no one around here dies. They mostly “pass away” or “pass”. A few even “went to the other side” while one very confident person was “now in the arms of Jesus.” Some even seem to have “deceased unexpectedly”. I’m not sure if that’s better that deceasing expectedly or not. I suppose it’s a matter of preference. I know for me it’s going to have to sneak up on me and I’m damned sure I may be waiting but it won’t be with much expectation.

ex-pec-ta-tion
noun
· Eager anticipation: eyes shining with expectation.

I hope mine reads something like: “Old Professor, born 1923 died smiling in the arms of a lovely woman in 2040.”

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 29, 2006

GREENHOUSE EFFECT

A few days ago we watched a 1989 movie that open my eyes to some things. The title was “Chances Are” and it starred Cybill Shepard and Robert Downey, Jr. The plot was about Cybill Shepard becoming a widow due to an accident her husband was in. Some 20 years later she falls in love with her daughter’s boyfriend who she is convinced is her late husband come back to life.
Okay, parts of the story are a little far-fetched including the fact that Cybill still looks pretty much as she did 20 years ago but, still, there was some very informative stuff in there too. For example, they had an actual scene in Heaven were these people were all strolling around and the surface they were walking on was white, fluffy stuff almost knee-deep. Now, no one actually said what the white, fluffy stuff was but anyone who has seen (or even heard of) Al Gore’s new movie, “An Inconvenient Truth” certainly recognizes it as carbon dioxide. Yes, that same carbon dioxide which is creating the greenhouse effect even reaches into Heaven.
Now if this greenhouse effect has the side benefit of keeping Cybill looking that good maybe we shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that everything about it is bad. It wouldn’t hurt to look into it a little more before we all dump our automobiles and get bicycles.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 19, 2006

I RECEIVE A LETTER -- I THINK

Yesterday I went to our on-the-street mailbox.  As I pulled the door open I saw a business-size, white envelope addressed to me and the return address was simply DICK CHENY.

Since I know of only one Dick Cheny I obtained a long stick and poked it several times.  Nothing happened so I went to the kitchen and got some tongs. Eventually I managed to get the DICK CHENY envelope to the shredder but shredding it wasn’t easy. I pushed the unopened envelope in, started the machine and ran as fast as I could, which at my age isn’t very fast. Luckily there was no explosion or anything of the sort.

Just the same, one can never be too careful.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 18, 2006

I GET FAN MAIL

This morning, as usual, I checked my e-mail and was surprised to find one unusual Subject listed. It said, "Thank you for being a Pain"
Thank you Corel for being so honest. Even so I enjoy using your Paint Shop Pro graphics software.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 17, 2006

PS Later I found the entire message said "Thank you for being a Paint Shop Pro user." Oh well.

AM I THE ONLY ONE?

You might have heard of the trouble with tunnel in Boston, Massachusetts. It seems that a huge concrete section of the ceiling weight about 3 tons fell on a car and killed one of the occupants. According to Associated Press the Governor is investigating.

Gov. Mitt Romney took control of inspections of the troubled Big Dig highway project Friday, pledging that he would not reopen a tunnel where a woman was killed until engineers resolve problems with heavy concrete ceiling panels that collapsed.
Romney said the tunnel could remain closed for weeks, until he is confident the 3-ton panels will not fall on motorists.
''And at this stage, you just have to cross your fingers that they don't come down,'' he said. ''The people who are working in the tunnel are wearing hard hats for a reason.''

Yes, Governor, Ill be sure that when that 3-ton concrete slab falls on me I'll be wearing a hard hat.

Am I the only one who sees these idiotic statements?

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 15, 2006

OUR DYSLEXIC DOG

In reading about dyslexia I think I discovered something about our dog, Jake.

I read that one form of dyslexia is when attempting to read letters and words they might appear to be reversed. As this definition said:

“dyslexia (dĭslĕk'sēə) , in psychology, a developmental disability in reading or spelling, generally becoming evident in early schooling. To a dyslexic, letters and words may appear reversed, e.g., d seen as b or was seen as saw.”

This might be the answer to something that’s been puzzling me for some time now. I know dogs lack the ability to read but they do recognize things and I’m wondering if our dog might be dyslexic. You see we know that Jake is a DOG but perhaps in his dyslexic brain he sees it as GOD.

At times he certainly behaves that way.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 8, 2006

A LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT

July 5, 2006

Dear Mr. President,

You probably have heard about what’s going on in North Korea these days. If you haven’t, maybe someone has mentioned that Kim Jong-il is off his medications and playing with missiles again. Of course, you must do something and I have an idea that will surely help you and it’s easy.

You send some troops into North Korea. There doesn’t need to be many and, as usual, they will only be there a short time.

1. Have someone find that big statue of Kim Jong-il. There always is one someplace.
2. Have some people tie a bunch of ropes around the statue and tip it over. Hopefully it breaks but that’s not a necessary thing.
3. Now the important part: Tell the troops to go home. Tell them it’s over, done, finished.
4. Now you go find your old flight jacket and get someone to fly you to an aircraft carrier where you can stand in front of a big sign that says, “MISSION ACCOPMPLISHED”.

Isn’t that simple? It shouldn’t take more than a day or two at the most.

By the way, you’re doing a heck of a job.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 5, 2006

ORCHIDS IN THE BATHROOM

I am fortunate enough to live with a woman who loves flowers. Her specialty is orchids but there also are about 80 different roses on the property.

This morning I was struck by the image of two beautiful orchid blooms in our bathroom.

Is that cool or what? Orchids in the bathroom!

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
July 2, 2006