Some people spend a lifetime searching for the meaning of life.
It really isn’t that difficult.
Just click here.
11/25/2004
11/21/2004
JUST TO SAY "HELLO"
My Internet provider is a cable company called Comcast.
Recently they introduced a new service they call Video Mail.
It's possible for a user to record 45 seconds of a video and audio message.
This can be sent as a plain message or in the form of a greeting card or as a narrator for a series of still photos.
As I understand it, the recording is stored at Comcast for 30 days and the recipient can pick it up any time.
It also provides a link to use for connecting the video to a web page or, as in this case, a blog.
If you are curious, click below to see the real unvarnished me talking.
You DO NOT need to download any special video mail progam to see and hear this 10 second greeting, though it may take a little time if you have a slow dial-up connection.
Just Click here.
Recently they introduced a new service they call Video Mail.
It's possible for a user to record 45 seconds of a video and audio message.
This can be sent as a plain message or in the form of a greeting card or as a narrator for a series of still photos.
As I understand it, the recording is stored at Comcast for 30 days and the recipient can pick it up any time.
It also provides a link to use for connecting the video to a web page or, as in this case, a blog.
If you are curious, click below to see the real unvarnished me talking.
You DO NOT need to download any special video mail progam to see and hear this 10 second greeting, though it may take a little time if you have a slow dial-up connection.
Just Click here.
11/18/2004
LITTLE LESSONS THAT LAST
I think I will always remember my Junior High School English teacher, Miss Batchelder. I sometimes try to think of things I learned in school and still consider valuable. I can’t think of many. On the other hand Miss Batchelder did teach us all something which was valuable and has helped me my entire life. Well, not my entire life. As the old joke goes: I haven't lived that yet. But, for as long as I have been around, I can still see and hear Miss Batchelder greeting the class every single day. There was none of the traditional, "Good morning, class." Instead, each day the class filed in, took seats and Miss Batchelder stood in front of the class in silence. When she had everyone's attention, she spoke. One firm statement: "R-E-C-E; receive." Every single day, "R-E-C-E; receive." And then the class would begin with no further mention of “receive”. I will never forget how to spell "receive”. Her approach sure beat the hell out of "I before E, except after C."
I don't remember anything else learned in that class, but I did come out with a lifelong ability to spell receive. My own innate intelligence led me to develop skill in handling "deceive" and "beleive", plus a few other assorted words.
So now, when someone asks me, as they surely must someday, “What did you learn in school?” I can shoot back, really fast, “R-E-C-E, receive.” No one has asked me yet, however.
By the way, I really do know how to spell “believe” correctly and even if I didn’t, my spelling checker, which I have nicknamed Miss Batchelder, would nag me.
I don't remember anything else learned in that class, but I did come out with a lifelong ability to spell receive. My own innate intelligence led me to develop skill in handling "deceive" and "beleive", plus a few other assorted words.
So now, when someone asks me, as they surely must someday, “What did you learn in school?” I can shoot back, really fast, “R-E-C-E, receive.” No one has asked me yet, however.
By the way, I really do know how to spell “believe” correctly and even if I didn’t, my spelling checker, which I have nicknamed Miss Batchelder, would nag me.
11/15/2004
A LITTLE THING
When I first met Love of My Life I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now. She is a dietician so, she and I cured that overweight condition in about 3 or 4 months.
When a person loses that much weight there’s a lot of extra skin left over with nothing to do. I think this might not happen so much in younger people but older skin seems to lack elasticity and doesn’t spring back readily. Or, as in my case, perhaps it had been stretched beyond its elastic limit. Whatever the reason, it just hangs there hoping all the residents of some small town might need a donor for skin grafts.
One of the prominent places it hangs is under the chin. I’ve actually had people (one waitress, actually) grab that skin and shake it and say, “That’s so cute.” The waitress had small children so she still lives.
One morning LOML was still in bed and I was standing bedside her. She looked up and said, “I think that little thing that hangs down is getting smaller.”
I explained, “That ‘thing that hangs down’ on a turkey is called a wattle. I don’t know what it’s called on a human but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go around telling everyone “my little thing that hangs down is getting smaller.”
When a person loses that much weight there’s a lot of extra skin left over with nothing to do. I think this might not happen so much in younger people but older skin seems to lack elasticity and doesn’t spring back readily. Or, as in my case, perhaps it had been stretched beyond its elastic limit. Whatever the reason, it just hangs there hoping all the residents of some small town might need a donor for skin grafts.
One of the prominent places it hangs is under the chin. I’ve actually had people (one waitress, actually) grab that skin and shake it and say, “That’s so cute.” The waitress had small children so she still lives.
One morning LOML was still in bed and I was standing bedside her. She looked up and said, “I think that little thing that hangs down is getting smaller.”
I explained, “That ‘thing that hangs down’ on a turkey is called a wattle. I don’t know what it’s called on a human but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t go around telling everyone “my little thing that hangs down is getting smaller.”
11/12/2004
NOW THIS IS REALLY WEIRD
I suppose everyone has, at one time, had trouble getting to sleep. In my case, my mind will keep moving from one subject to another in spite of my trying to get it back to think of peaceful, sleep-inducing scenes.
But have you ever done this? Last night I fell asleep easily and then lapsed into a dream where I was having trouble falling asleep. Now that is weird. Or as my Mother used to say, “No, he’s just different.”
But have you ever done this? Last night I fell asleep easily and then lapsed into a dream where I was having trouble falling asleep. Now that is weird. Or as my Mother used to say, “No, he’s just different.”
11/09/2004
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A BIG SCREEN TV
I have always wanted a big screen TV set.
It is working wonderfully except for one problem
The remote control is difficult to handle.
FAMILY VALUES AND STUFF LIKE THAT
Okay, I’ve had it! I’ve heard quite enough about our nation getting back to “the fundamentals upon which our nation was founded”. Hold on a minute!
This nation was originally founded by a bunch of religious fanatics who wanted to set up a colony where their religious beliefs were strictly adhered to and no others were tolerated. Does any of this sound familiar to you yet?
It’s pointed out that early on these Pilgrims set up educational programs to educate the young in reading. This was not for any altruistic reason; it was so they would be able to read the Bible. This somehow promoted these “family values” we hear so much about these days. What were some of these values?
How about a man not being permitted to kiss his wife in public? In seventieth century New England a certain Captain Kimble, upon returning from a three-years' ocean voyage, kissed his wife on his own doorstep and spent two hours in the stocks for his "lewd and unseemly behavior”.
How about it being a penal offense for a man to wear long hair, or to smoke in the street, or for a youth to court a maid without the consent of her parents?
How about one law that forbade the wearing of lace, another of "slashed clothes other than one slash in each sleeve and another in the back”?
I’m not making this stuff up. You can check it out by clicking here
Please think of this when you hear politicians talking about returning to the values our forefathers established when founding this country.
If that’s what you really want, there are a few groups who still live this way.
None of them are in Washington, DC.
This nation was originally founded by a bunch of religious fanatics who wanted to set up a colony where their religious beliefs were strictly adhered to and no others were tolerated. Does any of this sound familiar to you yet?
It’s pointed out that early on these Pilgrims set up educational programs to educate the young in reading. This was not for any altruistic reason; it was so they would be able to read the Bible. This somehow promoted these “family values” we hear so much about these days. What were some of these values?
How about a man not being permitted to kiss his wife in public? In seventieth century New England a certain Captain Kimble, upon returning from a three-years' ocean voyage, kissed his wife on his own doorstep and spent two hours in the stocks for his "lewd and unseemly behavior”.
How about it being a penal offense for a man to wear long hair, or to smoke in the street, or for a youth to court a maid without the consent of her parents?
How about one law that forbade the wearing of lace, another of "slashed clothes other than one slash in each sleeve and another in the back”?
I’m not making this stuff up. You can check it out by clicking here
Please think of this when you hear politicians talking about returning to the values our forefathers established when founding this country.
If that’s what you really want, there are a few groups who still live this way.
None of them are in Washington, DC.
11/06/2004
IT SAYS IT ALL
This just about says it all for me.
This is The Old Prof and I approve this message.
(Cover courtesy of Daily Mirror)
11/05/2004
AT LAST I WIN BIG
Yesterday I received a huge white envelope in the mail. It was the biggest envelope I have seen in some time. It measured 9.5 by 12 inches.
It was from Mutual of Omaha, a life insurance company.
There was a stamp that called it urgent and suggested – no, ordered me to open it immediately
Then there was our address that also contained wonderful information.
1. The policy status was “PRE-APPROVED”
2. Coverage was “GUARANTEED LIFE INSURANCE”
3. The value: “UP TO $10,000”
It was from Mutual of Omaha, a life insurance company.
There was a stamp that called it urgent and suggested – no, ordered me to open it immediately
Then there was our address that also contained wonderful information.
1. The policy status was “PRE-APPROVED”
2. Coverage was “GUARANTEED LIFE INSURANCE”
3. The value: “UP TO $10,000”
What a winner! But it gets even better for me. The address was correct but the addressee was my late wife who passed away more than 3 years ago. She never was connected to this address at all and I have no idea how it came here addressed to her.
However, since the Omaha people were generous enough to offer her a PRE-APPROVED policy GUARANTEED for UP TO $10,000, I can see no reason to decline their generous offer.
I suppose there’s a catch somewhere. They probably want the first premium paid but, even then, I would come out ahead. And, if they need a check, I think there are still some of her checks around here someplace.
I'm just guessing, but knowing how slowly these big companies move, it will proably be a couple of weeks before I actually get the money. I can wait.
It’s about time the little guy got a break. Maybe this George W. Bush guy isn’t as bad as I thought he would be.
TERMITES & COWS ARE KILLING US
The news has really been around for some time now, but it seems there are legitimate scientists who believe that most, if not all, of the world’s ecological problems are caused by flatulence from cows and termites. They have actual statistics showing how much methane gas, which is the principal component of natural gas, and what flatulence actually is, gets expelled into the atmosphere. They then show how it affects everything from the ozone to global warming, as well as causing everything from smog to premenstrual syndrome.
Information is presented in such a compelling manner that disputing it is difficult but it still leaves me with big questions.
How do they measure the flatulence? Now, with the cows it shouldn’t be too difficult. Anyone of the universities in the Red States would have an agriculture program. They could provide the cows. Then the athletic department could provide the two people who are needed to collect the data. These people would only need to know which end of the cow was the front, as the belching would also need to be taken into consideration. After that it’s matter of following a cow around and waiting until some noise comes out of the cow and making a mark on a piece of paper, noting which end it came from. Simple enough for most college students.
But with termites it would seem to be another matter. As far as I know, termite flatulence is silent, so there must be some kind of instrument that is used. What would it be like? Is it inserted into some cavity on the termite’s body? If so, how do you get the termite into that position? I can’t picture the termite bending over a table or having its feet up in little tiny stirrups.
The other alternative of having the termite wear some device seems silly to me.
That only leaves me with one conclusion. The scientists are guessing. They can measure how much methane there is in the atmosphere and how many termites there are, but they can only guess at other sources, like the fat lady who was on the bus with me last week. She had to be factored in as at least 1,000 termites or one cow.
I conclude that this information is, at best, sketchy but personally, if I were going to be anywhere near the ozone layer I wouldn’t choose that time light up. Or near that fat lady on the bus.
Information is presented in such a compelling manner that disputing it is difficult but it still leaves me with big questions.
How do they measure the flatulence? Now, with the cows it shouldn’t be too difficult. Anyone of the universities in the Red States would have an agriculture program. They could provide the cows. Then the athletic department could provide the two people who are needed to collect the data. These people would only need to know which end of the cow was the front, as the belching would also need to be taken into consideration. After that it’s matter of following a cow around and waiting until some noise comes out of the cow and making a mark on a piece of paper, noting which end it came from. Simple enough for most college students.
But with termites it would seem to be another matter. As far as I know, termite flatulence is silent, so there must be some kind of instrument that is used. What would it be like? Is it inserted into some cavity on the termite’s body? If so, how do you get the termite into that position? I can’t picture the termite bending over a table or having its feet up in little tiny stirrups.
The other alternative of having the termite wear some device seems silly to me.
That only leaves me with one conclusion. The scientists are guessing. They can measure how much methane there is in the atmosphere and how many termites there are, but they can only guess at other sources, like the fat lady who was on the bus with me last week. She had to be factored in as at least 1,000 termites or one cow.
I conclude that this information is, at best, sketchy but personally, if I were going to be anywhere near the ozone layer I wouldn’t choose that time light up. Or near that fat lady on the bus.
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