ANOTHER LESSON IN LIFE

It seems that many of my adventures in my life could serve as a lesson to others if examined closely. I thought of that the other day when another one of my experiences came to mind.

One summer, when I was a skinny kid about 10 years old, I decided to mow the lawn as a surprise for my father when he returned home from work. So, in the hot summer sun and using an old fashioned, hand-powered mower I proceeded to push that clunky old mower back and forth for about two hours.



I waited for my father to come home and soon the car drove up, my father got out and headed towards the house.

I called to him, “Look Dad. I mowed the lawn.”
He glanced towards me and said, “You didn’t trim around the trees.”

Those six words have been in my mind for more than seventy-five years now. They are as clear as though they had been spoken yesterday.

Fast forward to 2011 and I am now 88 years old.

A few days ago I undertook a minor repair job at home. Well, actually, I replaced a toilet seat that had a broken hinge. I replaced the entire seat with a new one and after I had cleaned up everything put the tools away I thought it looked pretty good. So, I ushered in my spouse to show off my handiwork.

She took a quick look, pointed to the two fasteners and said, “One is higher than the other.”

Without thinking I said, “And I didn’t trim around trees either.”

Of course, there is a point to my writing this story and thinking about it might benefit some readers with young children.

I’m sure if, as an adult, I had ever mentioned this to my father he wouldn’t have the faintest idea what I was talking about. Never the less, we all should constantly be aware that everything we say to our children might be remembered and could affect their lives for many years.

Now to get back to making those fasteners the same height.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 5, 2011

I AM HUMAN -- I THINK

As one might suspect, writing is one of the things I enjoy doing. Always striving to do it as well as possible, I often seek advice online. I even subscribe to a couple of newsletters that regularly send me hints. One of those arrived the other day and it had, “55 Synonyms For Courage.” I was surprised to see Number 6:

6. Boldness: This word means “daring, fearless” but can also mean “adventurous” as well as “presumptuous.”

Until now I had never seen any real advantage to my hair loss but now I see -- Oh no. They said, “boldness.”

I probably would get more benefit from instructions on how to read more carefully.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
December 3, 2011

I'M BACK

I suppose apologies are in order in case there is someone out there who has been checking my blog site only to find nothing new. It’s just that there’s been almost nothing new in my life -- until now.

Alert: For me to tell of my latest adventure you must at least be able to hear the term "constipation" without fainting.

I had been having some trouble with that so had been hitting the fiber pretty good. This was fine but the other day I needed to go to a medical lab for a routine blood check and I was concerned that I might need to make an emergency run to a rest room. Since I wear a pullover sweater, and suspenders under that, I felt it might delay the process in case I needed to use the facility in a hurry. So, I got rid of the suspenders and put on a belt just in case I might need a quick change. You see, that way pants could be lowered without the necessity of removing the sweater.

I arrived at the lab and went though the check-in spot and then sat down to await my turn. Soon someone called my name There were about a dozen people in the waiting room and apparently I was the only one with that name so, holding my papers in one hand and my cane in the other, I stood up and walked towards the lady.

She said, “Follow me.” And started to walk away.

I said, "Wait. I'm in trouble. My pants are falling down.”

So there I was, holding the papers and the cane in one hand and with the other hand I was trying to pull up my pants which were, by then, around my knees. I don't know if you have ever tried to pull up pants with one hand but it’s not the most efficient way of doing it. Also, my equilibrium isn’t all that great so I was also trying to lean on a nearby counter at the same time.

I finally said, “Will you please help me pull my pants up?” For a moment she looked puzzled as though she had never seen a guy standing in the waiting room with his pants around his knees.

Finally she did help me by crouching down and pulling my pants up using both hands.

The rest of the visit was uneventful. However, as I told the lady who helped me, “You now have a story to tell your grandchildren.”

With the widespread availability of cell phone cameras I fully expected to see my rear end on the 6 o’clock news but I didn't so I guess I missed my fifteen minutes of fame.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
November 26, 2011

STRANGE HAPPENINGS

There is something strange going on here and I don’t understand it. Where I live, in Carmel, California, there is an annual Antique Car Show. People come from many miles away and show their antique cars to other antique car owners. This has been going on every year for 61 years and during this particular week we often see these old cars driving around the area as well as the fancy moving vans used to transport these cars.

The thing that mystifies me is what they classify as an "antique car." In former years I used to see old cars displayed that I had only read about. But it seems to be different now.

Yesterday I saw a car that everyone was admiring and it was the same model my father had when I was growing up. How could a 1934 Essex be an antique? We used to drive that to go on picnics. Well, actually, my father drove it.

But the first car I owned was a 1938 Buick and, granted, it wasn’t in the shape the one on display is, but it certainly wasn’t an antique. And for sure it wasn’t worth $150,000. In fact, $50 would be closer to what I paid for it.

There is something very strange going on these days as far as what people consider “old” and I’m going to make an attempt find out what it is. Maybe it’s that “Time Warp” thing I’ve read about in science fiction stories. Probably something like that.

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
August 19, 2011

IT'S NOT ALWAYS ENGLAND

I have a friend who lives in England. Whenever I mention some particular achievement that some American did he always says, “Oh, we did that in England many years ago.”

I don’t mean things like landing on the moon but rather, everyday, man-on-the-street things. For example, I might mention a recently written song I enjoyed by an American composer. He would say, “Oh, The Beatles did that years ago.”

I’m inclined to think he is exaggerating most of the time but until now I never really had a proper comeback so I just accepted his overbearing attitude thinking that someday I would be able to find something Americans did first.

The day has arrived.

I see in the news that gangs of young thugs were roaming the streets of London and Manchester destroying property for no apparent reason except they think that’s what gangs of young thugs are supposed to do.

Well, my English Friend, I have news for you. We did that with the Watts Riots back in 1965! Gangs of young thugs roamed the streets destroying property for no apparent reason except they thought that’s what gangs of young thugs were supposed to do.

Sure, it happened in London but we did it first!

The Old Professor
Carmel, CA
August 11, 2011

PS Thank you, Caroline x.